Be prepared to have your spine tingled this autumn, writes Susan Welsh
“What did you do today dear?”
“I got slapped really hard in the face by a ghost and watched a chest of drawers flying across a room.”
It’s not unusual for Malcolm Robinson to have conversations like this and no, he’s not pulling your leg.
His society, Strange Phenomena Investigations was founded in Scotland in 1979, making it Scotland’s oldest paranormal society, one that’s still going strong.
As well as being slapped, the author and TV regular who is attending the Scottish Paranormal Festival in Stirling next week, has had his hair pulled by a ghost, kicked by a phantom and shouted at by a spirit to get out of her house.
“The face slapping occurred during a visit to a haunted house in Kirkcaldy,” said Malcolm.
“Nothing was happening so I jokingly said, ‘If there’s anybody here, please make your presence felt’. Then my face got slapped very, very hard – a proper stinger, but there was nobody near me.
“We work in semi-darkness as this seems to induce phenomenon better, but there’s always enough light to see what’s next to you.”
He’s now a firm believer in the afterlife, but that wasn’t always the case.
“Many years ago I set out to disprove all these subjects as I thought it was complete and utter nonsense, but like anything else in life, when things happen to you, then you have to come off the fence,” said Malcolm.
“There are a lot of shenanigans out there and charlatans who want to deceive others, but when you take that away and look at the evidence then you are dealing with something tangible that’s always been with us.”
What changed him from sceptic to believer was an experience that sends shivers scudding down the spine.
“I was in London, shown to the back bedroom of a house that contained just a small chest of drawers, a slender unit and chair tucked behind a black curtain. There were little silver bells hanging on the walls.
“When the psychic arrived I patted him down to make sure he’d no hidden devices on his body. He then went behind the curtain and we strapped him into the chair so he couldn’t get up. Suddenly the bells began tinkling and voices, male, female, young and old, could be heard everywhere.
“The black cloth then moved forward and moulded into the shape of a face, but the guy in the chair was still tied down.
“At this point the chest of drawers started to float through the air before dropping beside me on the floor. There was enough light to let me see there were no strings attached.
“Then a voice boomed, is Mr Robinson impressed by this? Thinking it was a trick I said I’d be more impressed if the chest was put back. I hooked my finger under a drawer to hold it back but within seconds it began to vibrate violently, flew out of my grasp and deposited itself back to where it was.
“It was astonishing, and there was certainly no trickery involved. I’d be foolish to say I wasn’t scared but it was fascinating,” said Malcolm.
During his talk at the festival he’ll present a selection of ghostly photographs captured on camera from all over the world, discuss different categories of spirit apparitions, and play a chilling sound tape.
“Scotland as a nation has always had a history of paranormal phenomena occurring often through folklore, such as tales about Nessie,” said Malcolm.
GHOSTLY GOINGS ON
While it’s one thing to look at a picture of a ghost, it’s quite another to live with one or experience a poltergeist.
Geoff Holder, author of 31 books including Poltergeists over Scotland, and What is a Poltergeist? is also speaking at the conference and presenting a talk entitled: Sex, Lies and Poltergeists.
“One of the earliest records of a poltergeist in Scotland took place at Botary, about four miles from Huntly, in 1644,” said Geoff.
“It doesn’t exist any more, the nearest hamlet today would be Cairnie. It involved a Patlik Malcolme, someone known to use charms in low-level folk magic. His eye was caught by a servant girl called Margaret Barbour.
“He asked if she’d like a roll in the hay, she refused, then he did something quite strange – picked up her left shoe, looked at it and said, ‘I can see you won’t make your wages this year’. Farm workers were paid annually then so this would have been a terrible threat.
“That night clods of peat and stone started to fall on the farm, and continued for 20 days and nights, which attracted locals, so there’s lots of witness reports saying stones were appearing from nowhere. As records aren’t complete, we don’t know what happened but do know Margaret was turned out of the farm, so his prediction was correct.
“Reports of rains of peat and stone were relatively common in Aberdeenshire and known as clodding – the last case being in the 19th century.”
In more recent times, one of the best recorded paranormal experiences was recorded at Leith Hall in Kennethmont, Aberdeenshire.
“Between 1966 and 1968, part of the house was occupied by Elizabeth Byrd and her husband, Barry Gaunt.
“They and their guests experienced a long-term haunting with apparitions and poltergeist phenomena as well. Footsteps, giggles, the sounds of partying and bagpipes playing could all be heard.
“Glasses would move across desks and break, ashtrays and kitchen pots would fly around, a standard lamp flew across the room and mists would descend.
“She wrote about her experiences but one of the most interesting aspects of this case were reports of apports – that’s when something appears courtesy of a poltergeist. In their case it was two tea cosies.
“Elizabeth reported coming into her study, which was locked, to find a pair of tea cosies there. On other occasions her husband received a leather-bound writing case, envelopes and blotters, all things related to him being a writer.”
The word, poltergeist is German and translates literally as noisy spirit.
“What distinguishes them is that they are usually heralded by noises and the movements of objects,” said Geoff.
“They also like to play with fire, smoke, water, liquids, some-times they pollute food, sometimes you will get apparitions and shadows, or really horrible things like infestations of maggots and exploding toilets, but generally it’s noisy and things move around.
“I’ve looked at several theories as to what they might be but come to no conclusion. You can look at lots of cases and not find a single thing to unite them except behaviour, but not cause.”
Having spent much of his professional life hanging around haunted castles, theatres, tunnels and prehistoric circles, Geoff confesses he’s never experienced anything paranormal.
So why does he find this spooky side of life fascinating?
“Let’s just say that ghosts really are the spirits of the dead,” said Geoff.
“If that’s proven, then that would completely change how we think about the world. Poltergeists break the laws of physics. Witnesses see them do things that are impossible, like move through walls. If we can prove these things then we could gain a different understanding of the universe and the way we look at it would have to change.
“I’ve never seen a ghost but if it does ever happen I suspect I’d be asking myself if it was genuine or in my own head. I’d be the worst witness in the world.”
The Scottish Paranormal Festival takes place from October 30 to November 2 in and around Stirling.