Locked doors, separation from her family and living with a “broken heart” are some of the struggles faced by a north-east prisoner in HMP Grampian.
Life behind bars is a grim reality for Kelly, who appears in the new BBC show Jailed: Women in Prison.
The 38-year-old becomes the focus of episode three of the series that lifts the lid on the lives of locked-up women across Scotland.
Despite the obvious struggles of being inside, Kelly says she has learned a lot while in custody.
The show tracks the journey of the first-time prisoner who turned to shoplifting to fund her addictions.
Stealing to fund her drink and drug habits has landed her a custodial stretch on remand.
She is spending her time inside with a fellow inmate who, she says has “done murder”.
Drug addiction problem for prisoners
Prison officer Gillian lays bare the harsh reality for the prisoners who lose contact with family and struggle with addiction.
She describes the female inmates as ‘ill’ with drug dependency.
She said: “They don’t know what help they are going to get. They are rattling coming off the drugs. They are just ill.”
Kelly’s journey on the show reveals the highs and lows of her time in jail.
A scene filled with hope of recovery shows Kelly working out in the gym.
‘Jailed’ shows life in Peterhead prison
Celebrations of being clean from drugs are quickly followed by her finding out pain medication has been stolen from her room.
The consequences of the missing Co-codamol are not just tough for Kelly, but also for the guards and other prisoners.
Pressure piles on the prison officers to find the medication and turn cells inside-out to recover the drugs.
Gillian says if the medication is misused the outcome could be “devastating”.
Kelly’s story ends with her heading to Peterhead Sheriff Court to find out if she can start a fresh chapter away from HMP Grampian.
Earlier episodes of the programme feature HMP Stirling and the women imprisoned there.
The shows shed light on the mental health struggles the women face with hard-hitting themes such as self-harm and suicide.
All of the episodes are available to watch on BBC iPlayer.
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