Cheryl Livingstone takes a look at the lives of families separated by adoption, who have been reunited thanks to the efforts of a Scottish charity
When Billy McFarlane started looking into his family history, he never imagined someone would already be searching for him.
It was only after registering with Birthlink, an Edinburgh-based charity, that the Argyll man found out more than he could ever have dreamed of.
The 65-year-old was born in Govan to a Mary Sharkey, from Co. Donegal, Ireland, but was separated from his mother when he was only three-months-old.
He was brought up by Duncan and May McFarlane in Dumbartonshire, and – although he knew he was adopted – he remembers a contented childhood with little thought about his “real” family.
Speaking from his home on Islay, he recalled: “My father was 50 when he adopted me and my mother was 48. I had 30 years with them and they saw two grandchildren and it was absolutely brilliant. I had a fantastic upbringing. I can’t praise them enough.
“As far as I was concerned these people were my parents, I grew up with them, and as long as they were alive, I didn’t think about anyone else.
“As I grew older I started to think about it a wee bit but when my parents were here I never wanted to hurt them in any way.”
It was only after his adopted parents died, that Mr McFarlane began to discuss with his wife the idea of looking into his background.
He registered with the Adoption Contact Register For Scotland and Birthlink in 1992 – then heard nothing for a few years.
However, in 2004, a letter arrived from Birthlink which turned his life around.
A sibling had made contact with the charity – and that was only the beginning.
Mr McFarlane discovered he had six brothers and sisters who all lived in north west Donegal. And while he had been looking for them, they had been hunting for him.
“I had a sister who had heard of this child, and my sister always thought that one day her mum would tell her but she passed away and never said a word,” he said.
“Two of my sisters decided to start looking after my mother passed away, they searched about all over the place and eventually they got to Birthlink.”
Mr McFarlane discovered that after his adoption, his mother had returned to Ireland and gone on to marry and have six more children.
She died in 1996, but Mr McFarlane and his sister began corresponding, first via Birthlink, and then directly, before arranging to meet face-to-face for the first time.
He said: “I felt I couldn’t let this lie. So Margaret and I took off, got the ferry over to Ireland and went to my sister’s house and gradually we met all the family. It was a big shock for them and it was a big shock for me too.
“I’ve gone from myself to seven of us in total – three brothers and three sisters and a big range of nephews and nieces. They all live within five minutes to each of other. It’s strange, I used to go to Ireland every year to fish. And it turns out I was only an hour and a half away from them. I had no idea.
“I was nervous because it could have backfired but we all get on really well,” he added.
“If anybody is not sure or wants to go looking into their background I would definitely advise them to phone Birthlink and speak to them. They are fantastic people, they will search for you or let you know if someone is looking for you.”
Birthlink is the latest name given to a service which originated in 1911 and has expanded and developed, reacting to the needs of its users.
It now offers a number of services, including the Adoption Contact Register For Scotland, an after-adoption information line and a service which helps adults who were formerly in care.
Kate McDougall, the charity’s co-ordinator said: “We offer support to both sides on their journeys, to those looking for their birth relatives but also to those parents who gave their children up for adoption.
“It can be a great shock to them when someone comes looking and people are grateful for some support during the reunion process.”
She said there were many different reasons for someone to get in contact with their birth parents but for many it was just to let them know that their lives had turned out well.
“They want to tell their birth mothers that they’ve had a great life and they shouldn’t be feeling ashamed of what happened in the past,” she said.
“For others, it’s about knowing where you came from and knowing your family history and for a lot of parents, it’s about finding their child – one they never forgot about.”
For more information, visit www.birthlink.org.uk