What we learned during yet another tumultuous week in the worlds of politics, sport and current affairs.
Connolly coins?
There were mixed reactions to Nicola Sturgeon’s latest policy paper on Scotland’s economic prospects if there’s a Yes vote in a future referendum.
The First Minister confirmed a newly-independent nation would keep using the pound, which prompted one of her former advisers to dismiss the plan as “utter p**h”.
Given such language, why not adopt a new currency “The Connolly” with 100 Billies to the Big Yin?
Ridiculous, of course. But no more absurd than other political developments.
Bye bye Braverman
After all, on Tuesday, the Conservative Home Secretary Suella Braverman launched an astonishing tirade against what she described as the “Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati anti-growth coalition”.
Within 24 hours, the forces of Big Quorn had struck back and Braverman had been booted out of the Cabinet.
So near, yet so far
Eilish McColgan ran her heart out this summer and struck gold at the Commonwealth Games.
But her British and European records at the Great Scottish Run have been invalidated after it was discovered the course was 150 metres too short.
Embarrassing? Yes, but by no means unusual in athletics.
The Manchester marathon was 380m short for three consecutive years from 2013 to 2015. And the Brighton marathon was 568m too long last year. Can’t anybody use a measuring tape any more?
Rhino joy
There was genuine cause for celebration when a rare white rhino was born in central Scotland. Following a 16-month pregnancy, the female calf entered the world at Blair Drummond Safari Park as the sixth progeny of long-term partners Dot and Graham, both aged 22.
Southern white rhinos are classified as “near threatened” on the International Union for the Conservation of Nature red list of endangered species.
The other subspecies – the northern white rhino – is functionally extinct, with only two known creatures left in the world – both of which are female.
Healthy diet?
Archaeologists have discovered that a woman who lived in Orkney 1,800 years ago had a diet that basically consisted of fish suppers, though not of the type you find at your local chipper.
The results showed that seafood had been a consistent part of her diet during her childhood and she ate lots of fish towards the end of her life.
The UHI Archaeology Institute suggested she may have held a special role within her ancient community and nicknamed her The Elder.
Major role for Jonny
He was mesmerising as Sick Boy in Trainspotting, as world-record-breaking cyclist Graeme Obree in the film The Flying Scotsman, and as Sherlock Holmes in the American TV series Elementary.
But doubts have been expressed about the casting of Jonny Lee Miller as former PM John Major in the new series of The Crown.
Producers Netflix have already stumbled into hot water with Major and other politicians over “fictional” parts of the script.
Sorry chaps, but it’s a drama, not a documentary.
Gunning for Fergie
Former Arsenal co-owner David Dein wanted to make Sir Alex Ferguson the Gunners manager in 1986 before he left Aberdeen for Manchester United.
He told the Sacked in the Morning podcast: “I promoted Alex to take on the job, but some on the board were suggesting George Graham so I wondered if Alex, being a bit more experienced, could be manager and George his No 2”.
Fergie has always made it clear he would only leave Pittodrie for one other job – at Old Trafford, so this sounds like wishful thinking.
A nod to Poland
Ferguson’s assistant, Archie Knox, went on a spying trip 40 years ago – and found himself in a John Le Carre novel. After travelling to Poland to scout European opponents Lech Poznan, he was met by a minder who tailed him wherever he went – even to the stage where they slept in the same hotel room.
Knox said: “It was strange to get so much attention. What made it worse was the fact he could speak as much English as I could Polish – which was nil. Still, after that, I now know how to nod in Polish!”
Burning issue
The Scottish SPCA reported that an owl had been rescued after getting trapped in the flue of a wood-burning stove in Aberdeen. Their staff were alerted by a member of the public to free what was initially thought to be a hawk in the Hazlehead area.
The Scottish Fire and Rescue Service was also involved and the bird, a tawny owl, was eventually removed. It was checked and given some food and water before being released back into the wild. And yes, we do give two hoots about that.
Larry for top job
Oh, and of course, Liz Truss became the latest PM to quit Downing Street even as Larry the Cat proclaimed: “The King has asked me to become Prime Minister because this nonsense has gone on long enough.”
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