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Talking Point: The complex art of giving at Christmas

Are men truly bad at giving presents? Ellie House finds out.
Are men truly bad at giving presents? Ellie House finds out.

Christmas Eve and the scenes are the same up and down the country; as a certain type of person rampages around the shops.

No, I am not shaming anyone who has left it all to the last minute.

There are umpteen reasons why you may be Christmas shopping at the final hour, not least if you work in retail yourself or have just come off shift from the NHS.

No, I’m talking about the men who scan the shelves – a desperate look in their eye.

Said man will have a scarf in one hand, a deeply offensive smelling perfume in the other.

Ever received an unusual present from your partner at Christmas? You’re not alone. Image: Shutterstock.

Call me sexist, but if you think about the excellent and organised present buyers in your life, the chances are they’re female.

Before I am slammed for stereotyping my male counterparts, it is largely left to women to create the magic of Christmas.

We store up information in our already stressed brains, so the entire family receives the right gift.

I recall with perfect clarity my mum unwrapping a pair of wellies on Christmas Day, gifted to her by my dad who strangely hadn’t asked for my help that year.

They were two sizes too big, and were returned with barely a word uttered.

I, too, have married an unromantic man, and I’ve made my peace with it.

If you want to avoid this scenario on Christmas Day, write a list! Image: Shutterstock.

Every year I give him a list of pre-approved gifts.

I’m not ungrateful, but nor do I want to be stood in a 60-deep queue returning a spiraliser or scratchy red underwear on Boxing Day.

If you’re reading this in disbelief because your other half always gets you just the right gift, good for you.

I, on the other hand, don’t like leaving it to chance.

We encourage our kids to write lists, albeit to Santa.

If children write lists, why can’t adults? Image: Shutterstock.

Yet as adults we suddenly assume that we are somehow easier to read, when in fact we’ve only grown more complex over the passing years.

I have friends who always receive a beautiful present, because their partner just excels in gift buying.

I also have friends for whom I have indirectly brought for, after sternly telling their husband to swap bath towels for gin and a spa voucher.

I caught up with Jennifer Davidson, who really knows her stuff when it comes to what she calls “the art of giving”.

She has worked at My Beautiful Caravan in Stonehaven for the past eight years, and finally took a breath following the gift shop’s busiest time of year.

Jennifer Davidson believes there is an art to present giving, and helps customers get it right from her shop in Stonehaven. Picture by Wullie Marr.

Jennifer, who was previously an archivist in Newcastle and at Durham University, believes choosing the right gift goes far beyond gender.

“We are all different and for some people, they don’t want that element of surprise,” she said.

“You might not want that red lipstick when you always wear pink.

“It can be the fact that somebody has really listened to you, and that can be just as gratifying as a wonderful surprise.

“I love the process of giving, and I don’t think that women are better at present buying.

“But women are more inclined to put the time in when it comes to choosing a present.”

Jennifer believes her shop is popular with men in particular because help is at hand in finding the right gift.

“I think gift giving really is an art, because it can be about observing that person,” said Jennifer.

“You’re not going to buy a silk scarf for someone who never wears scarfs, but a lot of us don’t like to say what we really want.

“Where do you draw the line between the gifts you may want, and what that person can afford?”

Jennifer Davidson, owner of a gift shop in Stonehaven, runs a card index system which enables customers to create a wish list. Picture by Wullie Marr.

Jennifer offers a more indirect service in the shop, operated via a card index system.

“I haven’t promoted it as much as I should, but it’s like a wish list,” said Jennifer.

“We don’t keep items back, but we can write your name down on a card with the items you’ve spotted.”

The cards are ordered alphabetically, but Jennifer believes curating what’s in the shop can also make the process easier.

“It’s a curated collection of things, and it enables people to focus on who they are giving the gift to,” she said.

“Whether that’s a print of Stonehaven open-air pool, because someone mentioned they went swimming there as a child.

“It can even be as simple as a pencil which says ‘I love rowies’ because the person has a bee in their bonnet of whether you say rowie or buttery.

“That, to me, is what the art of giving is really about.”

The truth unwrapped

More than 33 million people in the UK receive an unwanted gift every Christmas.

Slater Menswear recently conducted a study of more than 2,000 people, and the results are interesting to say the least.

It was found that the UK public thinks men are three times worse at buying presents than women

The stats would suggest that men are not particularly gifted at buying presents, no pun intended. Image: Shutterstock.

Men are also three times as likely to leave buying their presents to two days before Christmas.

Perhaps the most famous on-screen gift of all time has to be the Joni Mitchell CD gifted to Emma Thompson’s character in Love Actually.

She was, of course, left in tears upon discovering her on-screen husband, played by the late Alan Rickman, had given a gold necklace to another woman who worked in his office.

So when it comes to gift giving, there’s a lot at stake!

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