I know for sure that many people take much comfort from visiting the grave of a loved one. Personally, I don’t like graveyards. I’m not scared of them, I just feel no need to go. Each to their own, I guess.
In the UK we have two choices basically. Burial or cremation. It’s cremation for me. No desire to be stuck in a box and buried, thank you very much.
But around the world, there are other ways “to go”.
Options after death around the world
In Tibet, some Buddhists practise a ritual called sky burials. They don’t bury or cremate the body, but place it in a special outdoor space, cut it up, then let birds devour the remains. They believe that by allowing the birds to eat the remains, it allows the soul to depart.
It’s also said to acknowledge the circle of life, as in a once-living thing now becomes food to nourish other living beings.
In Ghana, they use coffins, but not ordinary coffins, they use what’s called fantasy coffins. The actual coffin resembles the job the person had in life, or something they were passionate about. Some of them are works of art apparently.
Your coffin could be bible shaped, car shaped, anything you like shaped. How about Mercedes Benz shaped? Up to you. I’d go for a bottle of wine shaped coffin with a Chateaux Laffite label, because I’ve never been able to afford to buy or drink one. What a send-off!
In Madagascar, some people remove the body from the grave every five to seven years. They then remove the old burial shrouds and wrap the deceased in new ones. Reason? They don’t believe that the soul reaches heaven until the body has completely decomposed. Therefore, until that happens, their loved one is in a position of between life and death. Hmm, no, not for me that one.
Surrounded by flowers and set alight
And of course, in India, some place the body on a pyre, surround it with flowers, set it alight and float it down the Ganges.
I like this idea, it sounds somewhat romantic, but I’m not convinced that Aberdeenshire Council will let my friends set me alight and float me down the river Don.
But seriously, in India, the Ganges has become bloated with bodies. Not healthy, not hygienic.
Or how about embalming? If you’ve got enough cash, you could be embalmed and even put on display.
In 1994, in Tiananmen Square in Beijing, I queued for half an hour to get into Chairman Mao’s mausoleum. Inside, Mao’s embalmed body lay in a glass coffin. No photos were allowed and no talking either. Armed soldiers stood all around, and by the look on their faces I wouldn’t like to have broken the rules. Mao was dressed in a smart suit with the red flag draped over his body.
I don’t know how they do it, I mean to make him look “lifelike”. Mao had been dead 18 years when I saw him, but he looked like he could have sat up and opened his eyes at any moment.
Many of the Chinese people beside me were crying and some laid flowers. I did neither.
Surreal experience
In Moscow’s Red Square, I’ve seen Lenin three times. I queued, entered the famous door you see here, turned left, down a steep set of steps, and into the tomb.
Again, wearing a suit, Lenin was lying in the middle and we shuffled past looking down on him. Soldiers stood guard all around and Soviet symbols were everywhere. Unlike Mao, Lenin, who has been dead since 1924, did not look “real”. He looked like a wax dummy from Madame Tussauds that was in need of a makeover. Still though, it was a surreal experience.
No, I definitely don’t want to be embalmed and put on display. Creepy.
Or maybe you’re one of the growing number of people who prefer none of the above? Another option is to put yourself on ice, so to speak. I’m talking about cryonics.
In a nutshell, your body is frozen at a temperature of minus 196 degrees Celsius. The thinking behind this is that you can be revived, resurrected if you like, at some time in the future when medical science has worked out a cure to whatever the disease was that killed you earlier.
The science of this it highly disputed, but that said, hundreds of people have taken part, and are currently “frozen”.
If you fancy it, you can do it. But be aware, it costs a lot, and I mean a lot of money.
What to do with ashes?
As I’ve already said, I want to be cremated. Yet I’ve no desire to be put in an urn and placed on the mantlepiece. So, that got me thinking, what do to with my ashes?
I did initially think I’d ask a handful of friends. I’d leave them money to pay for the expenses and ask that they fly to one of the countries I’ve spent much time in.
They each bring a handful of me with them and scatter me there. Mind you, I’m not sure what Putin would say about me being scattered in Red Square. Same goes for Hamas in the Gaza Strip.
Actually, if I could be scattered anywhere, it would be around Slovenia’s Lake Bohinj where I’ve spent some of the most serene moments in my life.
Or what about being made into a keepsake? I didn’t know this happened, but apparently it’s big business.
These days you can turn the ashes of a loved one into a special keepsake. For example, ashes can be put into pendants, rings, all manner of jewellery, mixed with paint and made into a painting, turned into vinyl records, stuffed into teddy bears.
Or how about being put into fireworks and blasted up into the sky?
Now I have to say that fireworks sound like a fun way to go. Far more appealing than having family and friends all standing round a windswept Scottish gravesite signing the Old Rugged Cross and losing the will to live.
Make a will
So, how about you? What’s your plans when it comes to the inevitable? I accept that this can be a somewhat difficult subject, but as I pointed out last week, death is the only thing in life we can’t avoid.
Make a will if you’ve not yet done so, and get your express wishes written down. Don’t leave it to family members, they will already have enough to cope with. If all your affairs are in order, you will really take the pressure off them. And you know, once you make a will, once it’s done, you can forget about it and get on with what’s really important – living!
A few weeks after his passing, I took my dad’s ashes on a plane, destination Spain. All paperwork in order, I placed the carry-on bag with the urn on the seat beside me. I felt very strange indeed knowing that the contents of that plastic urn contained what was once was my dad.
Suddenly a wry smile came over me as I turned to said urn and commented quietly. “Aye dad, this is the first time you’ve ever had a free seat on Ryanair!”
In my head, I could hear him laughing.
Later that week, and according to his wishes, we scattered his ashes under a rose bush in the garden at our house in Spain. That said, we still have some of dad’s ashes. I rather like the idea of a pendant or bracelet. I need to look into this.
If death itself is an emotive subject, then this aspect of it surely tops the list. Highly controversial and much debated, it’s a subject that’s never far from the news…
Next week – The right to die, where do you stand?
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