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Mary-Jane Duncan: It’s no secret I suffer from anxiety – and right now it’s all about exam anxiety

Parents of teens will appreciate Mary-Jane's current heightened state - exam anxiety.

Exam time is a stressful time for teenagers AND their parents!
Exam time is a stressful time for teenagers AND their parents!

It’s no secret I suffer from anxiety. I have some coping mechanisms in place.

Some work better than others and I’m currently riding the wave of a rather rough period using ignorance and sticking my head in the sand. You might say that’s not a decent plan, but if I can just get to the end of May, I’ll cope. Because by then I’ll have something else to worry about instead.

I can trace the origins of my anxiety back to primary school. Those heady days where learning involved reading aloud a passage from a book. To the WHOLE class. With a surname beginning with T, my seat was usually near the back of the class. This allowed me time to count how many kids were in front of me and figure out what section I was going to have to read. I’d then practice before it got to my turn. Between that and gym class where we were told to crawl through the space under a gym bench, I don’t believe I was ever destined for a happy go lucky lifestyle.

Teenage exam anxiety

All parents of teens will appreciate my current heightened state. Exam anxiety. More specifically ‘teenage child sitting exams’ anxiety. Instead of revelling in the joy of warmer days and longer nights, we are navigating and tip toeing around full  in the knowledge whatever we say will be completely wrong.

It’s tiring studying for hours on end.

Judging by the supportive, rousing chat coming out my mouth, I have literally turned into my mother. All I can see in the mirror these days is my teenage self eye-rolling back at me. Meanwhile, current me wants to turn back time and apologise to my Mum because I now finally get it.

Teenage studying technique

Trying to teach your child to learn from your own mistakes is an almost impossible task to add my growing repertoire of parenting fails. Remembering I’m old enough to be pre-mobiles and laptops, my teenage studying technique went something like this.

Tidy bedroom. Ensure adequate amount of stationery. Call everyone I knew to tell them how much I didn’t feel like studying. Study for five minutes. Get a snack. Call boyfriend. Study for five minutes. Call that one person who wasn’t home the first time I called.  Study for five minutes. Take a well earned break. Study for five minutes. Go to bed EXHAUSTED from all the studying. My less than impressive exam results a complete mystery to me when I’d done nothing but study!

A teenage boy doing homework on his desk at home. How often is he checking Facebook…?

If I was to do it all again in current times, I imagine the regime would read a little more like this. Tidy entire house. Ensure adequate amount of stationery and all devices are charged. Facetime everyone to tell them how much I don’t feel like studying. Study for five minutes.Pop a wash on. Study for five minutes. Check online banking. Study for five minutes. Walk dogs. Study for five minutes. Hang out the washing and pop on a new one. Study for five minutes. Check my emails, replying to a few and deleting spam folder. Study for five minutes.

Hanging up washing… anything to avoid studying!

Order some stuff I don’t need from Amazon. Study for five minutes. Hoover both up and downstairs. Study for five minutes. Look in the fridge to see if something new has appeared. It hasn’t so write a comprehensive shopping list and do a menu plan for the week. Study for five minutes. Check the empty crisp cupboard (again). Study for five minutes. Send off some memes about the slogs of studying before the final highlight of every day for me, go to bed utterly exhausted, obviously from ALL the studying achieved.

Exams only a few weeks away

A friend told me how nice his recent holiday was with his daughter. She’s passed through that awkward stage of not wanting anything to do with her Dad and entering a lovely stage of enjoying his company again. She’s a few years younger than our one about to sit her SQA Highers. I didn’t have the heart to warn him of what’s coming.

Although as we only have a few weeks until the exam diet starts, she’s currently an absolute delight and, all of a sudden, mine has never been more motivated to walk the dogs or make the tea. Oh, and, her room is spotless.