Are parents going too far with expensive gifts for teachers? Our readers weigh in

End of term spells costs for parents and a big one is a gift for the teacher. But is it an unwelcome burden, especially in a cost-of-living crisis, and do teachers even want a present?

By Jacqueline Wake Young

June 27 2024, 5:00 pm

It's become more common to give teachers a gift at the end of term, especially at primary schools where pupils tend to have one teacher for the whole year. Image: Roddie Reid / DC Thomson.

It used to be an apple for the teacher, now it can be anything from chocolates or a bottle of wine to a spa day or expensive gift vouchers.

At the end of term, parents can find themselves being pressured into shelling out for various events and treats.

Throw in a school trip and a prom night and costs can soon rack up, affecting parents of primary children and school leavers in particular.

How do parents feel about this? And do teachers even want or expect a gift?

The P&J asked readers to do their sums, jot down some thoughts and give us a lesson in where parents and teachers stand on this issue.

We heard from teachers and parents from all across the north and north-east on their thoughts, see what they said below…

Is £200 for a teacher’s present ‘insane’?

The school prom is another expense by the time you include an outfit and tickets. Image: Shutterstock.

Firstly, let’s hear what parents have to say about the matter.

Carol from Aberdeenshire said: “Ballpark figure, I’ve personally spent £150 on the prom including the dress,” she said.

“That didn’t include the £7.50 each for the teacher. Nor another £5 for the assistant teacher, nor the scratch cards for extra funds.

“Many parents paid £26 as they couldn’t raise the money in time.

“Most paid a bit more than me. But £200-odd quid for one teacher is insane.

“If I had not refused the extras on principle, I would have personally paid over £200. Times that by 30!”

“And what really upsets me is publicly embarrassing those who can’t. By putting lists of parents up who haven’t paid. And making sure they’re not on the thank-you card.”

A young girl shows her appreciation for teachers. Image: Shutterstock.

Jane Mitchell of Aberdeen said: “It seems a bit competitive.

“In the 60s I remember my mum sending me to school with a box of lace handkerchiefs for my teacher. I sent my children with boxes of sweets for theirs.”

Reader Jacqueline Whyte said: “It’s ridiculous what some parents are asked to chip in to get the teachers a present, by other parents in their kid’s class.

“Not everyone has money to do this and it puts pressure on some mums to give as they feel pressured into it.”

‘Is lavishing teachers with presents another import from the US’?

Her sentiments were echoed by Andreen MacLean of Fort William: “It’s nuts altogether!

“How many mugs and paperweights with ‘best teacher’ do teachers need?

“Can’t give to the teacher without giving to the assistants too and can’t pass the lollipop lady or man with all these gifts and not bother with them and so it goes on!

“It’s silly and expensive. Though I liked it when I worked in a school.”

A school trip can be another cost at the end of term for parents. Image: Shutterstock.

Reader Douglas W Scott asked: “Where has this nonsense come from? Is it another import from the US? Kick it into touch right now!”

And John Summers-Campbell said: “Where does it say ‘get your teacher a present’? Nowhere. It’s been created by parents and needs to stop. It’s not fair on families or teachers.”

Heather Fraser of Grantown on Spey said: “My wee ones make their teacher a Little Jar of Thank Yous, and write wee notes.

“I don’t think gifting is right, as it puts so much pressure on parents when everyone is already struggling so much with everyday finances.”

‘It should be banned’

Dianne Mcpherson of Aberdeen shared this amusing memory: “I remember my eldest son asking if he could give his primary teacher a present as he really liked her.

“I said… what do you think she’d like? ‘A new dress’ was his reply!”

Do teachers even want or expect a gift or is teaching its own reward? Image: Shutterstock.

Highland-based Audrey Whitfield said: “I don’t think it’s a good idea and should be banned. Some teachers could treat pupils differently on the strength of the present.

“Also, they will be getting paid a lot more than some parents who maybe really cannot afford it.

“I know you can say ‘what about something homemade or baked?’ but some of us are rubbish at that.”

‘Teachers are heroes and schools are understaffed’

Nargiz Morrison of Aberdeen said: “If parents want to give a gift and can afford it, I see no problem. Absolutely happy to give.

“Working in conditions when schools are understaffed, underfunded, they show day after day their dedication to the future generations.

“Teachers are heroes and deserve the best!”

So, what do teachers say about the tradition?

How do teachers feel about receiving gifts?

Teachers told us about memorable gifts they’ve received and the list may come as a pleasant surprise to parents.

Nairn-based Mhairi Gray said: “I once had a student make me my own school report.

“I’ve still got it (nearly 20 years later) and always will. I’ve had some lovely notes over the years and have kept them all.”

A class that works hard could be all a teacher dreams of. Image: Shutterstock.

Highlander Morag Courten, a retired teacher, said: “The best gift a child can give their teacher is trying their best in all they do and achieving their potential.

“No teacher expects any other reward and the self-made cards from a pupil are the most appreciated as it shows the child has taken the time, care and effort.

“One of the nicest things I had was a ‘Wordle’ with all the words the children in the family chose about me.”

The teacher gifts that are truly memorable…

Retired teacher Rita Jappy of Fraserburgh said: “I never expected gifts and I appreciated all the handmade cards and pictures just as much.

“One girl came in with a pretty stone that she found and it sat on my desk for the next few years.”

Angela Walker-Stuart of Elgin said her most welcome gifts included “…a strawberry huller because I was always having to take the stalks out of kids’ strawberries at break time… and a wee drawing of my dog by a pupil in a frame.

A handmade painting or card is often much appreciated. Image: Shutterstock.

“All loved and very much appreciated. Also loved all the homemade cards, Christmas decorations that go on the tree every year, bracelets etc. Thank you again! Nothing was expected.”

Charlotte Reid of Aberdeen said: “As an ex-teacher, I spent a fortune on supplies for my class as there was no budget for us to do anything out of the box, so it is nice parents recognise that.

“That said, my favourite gifts were homemade cards. No need for expensive gifts, it’s the thoughtful ones that are really valued.”