When Fiona Wares was bullied as a child, it could have caused her to shrink back. Instead, it ignited something in her to become the people’s champion.
Now, the fervent fundraiser does whatever she can to help others, despite juggling working life with the 24-hour “privilege” of keeping her profoundly disabled son Daniel with them in the family home.
“I was always being picked on because of a speech impediment, and even now I have alopecia myself. I will always fight for the underdog. If I can do something why wouldn’t I?”, Fiona says.
‘Our normal family life isn’t very normal at all’
Working as a waitress at Aviemore’s Cairngorm Hotel, not too far from the family home, Fiona could easily be employed “back of house”. A qualified chef and baker – which is how she met former chef Martin, her husband of 30 years, she says she’s got her work-life balance just right.
“It’s just the right amount of work and pressure when our normal family life isn’t very normal at all,” she adds.
‘Everything changed when our baby was just six months old,’ Fiona said
Fiona, and Martin who now works for MKM Builders in Aviemore, married in 1994. Three years later son Daniel came along, a month early, weighing 3lb 130z. He spent a month in Raigmore Hospital’s special care baby unit.
So small he resembled “a Tiny Tears doll” they settled into life as a family of three.
Everything changed when Daniel was just six months old.
“We were advised to have him checked out as his head looked a bit big. We booked a doctor’s appointment right away. After measuring him twice the GP told us to go to hospital. It was about lunchtime.
“By 6 o’clock that night, we were in an ambulance going to Aberdeen Sick Kids with an ill baby. His head size was 57cm, the size of an average two-year-old.
Daniel had developed hydrocephalus – a condition where cerebrospinal fluid builds up in the brain, causing pressure to increase, potentially damaging brain tissue.
He had a shunt inserted to drain the fluid and, although life-threatening, he was home after a week.
‘He’s kept his sense of humour despite everything,’ mum added
Sadly a year later Daniel experienced his first seizure, lasting hours, and was diagnosed with complex partial seizures.
At three he was registered blind due to hydrocephalus, which had damaged the part of Daniel’s brain affecting vision, with a subsequent “new label” of cerebral palsy.
After nine years of querying Daniel’s “autistic tendencies,” his autism confirmation was received just before he started high school.
“Regardless, we wanted Daniel to have the best education possible. We fought to get him a place at Drummond School in Inverness. He’s got nine different diagnoses now but he deserves the best.
“He travelled 60 miles each day but he flourished. It’s not been easy for him though. He’s had countless operations such as tendon transfers and hamstring snips. Despite it all he’s a very happy young man with a great sense of humour,” Fiona says.
Relentless charity work brings Fiona joy
And this is where Fiona’s community activism comes in.
“Well Martin goes to football as a trainer, and I do my fundraising,” she says. “It keeps me happy. And I survive on very little sleep!”
Starting at 14 with “a mile of pennies” for Guide Dogs for the Blind, Fiona has been relentless in her support of worthy causes.
She’s raised money for a sensory room at Daniel’s school, cash to provide cuddle cots, through Angel Wings for families who suffered baby loss, and during her 15-year stint at Tesco she was the Aviemore store’s community champion, leading countless cash-generating endeavours.
Hair-raising deeds drive Fiona’s passion to help others
Some of these pursuits involved dying her hair pink or blue, other times it involved her cutting her hair off altogether.
“I cut my hair for Macmillan’s Big Snip and raised about £500,” Fiona explains, “then gave the hair to the Little Princess Trust. More recently I did it all again to raise funds for a little girl in the community going through cancer treatment.”
Sponsored cycles bought defibrillators for Cardiac Risk in the Young (CRY), and raised cash for Connecting Young Carers. Then on Fiona’s 40th she held a movie party but instead of presents, she raised more money for Macmillan as her father had recently died of lung cancer.
Even as they gathered friends and family to celebrate their 30th anniversary, Martin and Fiona put others first, once again forgoing gifts in favour of donations for Alzheimer’s Scotland.
‘My glass is always half-full, says kind-hearted Fiona’
“I feel that we’re very lucky. We have challenges, sure, but who doesn’t? I enjoy making a difference,” Fiona adds.
“My glass is always half full. There is always someone having a worse day than myself, so it’s best to be grateful with what you have. Then, if you can help anyone – even if it’s just with a smile – that’s maybe all they’ll need.
“For me… I wouldn’t have got through without learning to appreciate everything I have. My struggles might seem big to you but yours are the same to me.
“There’s grief for knowing I will never be a granny or be mother of the groom, and Martin will never take Daniel for his first pint.
“But on the other hand we’ll never have the worry of wondering how he’s going to buy a house or have the fear of not knowing where he is.
“He’s right here with us, at home, and for that, I am very, very grateful.”
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