Portlethen mum Angie Wright was widowed in her 30s when her husband died in a car accident. She then watched the same devastating grief repeat for her daughter and baby grandchildren when her son-in-law died in the pandemic.
So when she saw a P&J Facebook post asking for our readers’ perspectives on Mother’s Day, she immediately got in touch to share her story and experiences.
On special days like Mother’s Day, this family does what they do best: they laugh hard, love hard and rally to make it special “for each other.”
‘Mum’s house is the hub for the family,’ says daughter Bex
It’s a drizzly Wednesday morning in Portlethen when I find myself standing at the door of Angie Wright.
A hairdresser in the town – and a resident there for over 30 years – she’s at the heart of her community. And as I’ll quickly discover, she’s at the heart of her family too.
Mum to Bex and Paul, and “adopted” daughter Laura, Angie’s got that “casual chic” thing going on. She has two greyhounds, and there’s a baby on her knee, but she’s immaculate in matching cream co-ords.
“You look amazing,” I tell her. “And your home is beautiful.”
“Mum’s is the hub,” daughter Bex pipes up. “Although when all the grandkids are here it’s a bit harder to keep tidy,” she laughs.
‘I found my people with Angie and her family,’ Laura says
Widowed at 39, Angie fell in love for a second time with husband Bob Wright. Married for the last seven years, Bob ducks in and out while I chat to the girls.
Alongside Angie and Bex is Laura, who has been friends with Bex since they were teenagers.
“I try to treat them [Laura and Bex] as much the same as I can, because Laura is just as much a part of this family.”
A young mum of two herself, and the image of her daughter Ava, Laura describes Angie, Bob, and their clan, as “her people.”
“I have a difficult relationship with my own mum, and don’t speak to my dad. When I had my first child Findlay, I was included in the fold here immediately. You get to a certain point in life when you think, the people who are good to me… they’re my people.
“These are my people. This is my family too.”
It’s a tough time of year – but being together helps
Family days are what Angie loves most.
“Most Sundays we have everyone here. Bex and the boys stay over, and we have soup and stovies. We love it,” she says.
But this can be a tough time of the year.
Paul Symmers, Angie’s husband, died 21 years ago on March 14 when her kids were just 12 and 15.
“I was a daddy’s girl,” Bex says. “I used to break my heart when dad would leave from the heliport.”
An offshore worker, Paul was also close to his namesake son.
His death rocked the family.
The way Bex describes that time of their lives is that “the air was thick with trauma”.
‘History repeated itself, but that means we understand each other’
“It was hard for me. I’ll be honest, the kids needed to look after me for a while,” Angie says.
“So when history repeated itself, I knew exactly what Bex was going through.
“And I always remember how great Paul’s parents were. Their main concern was not their own grief, it was me and the kids. I’ve never forgotten that.”
“History has repeated itself in more ways than one,” Bex adds. “I wouldn’t have survived the last few years without my mother-in-law either.”
Bex met Kevin Clarke in 2016. One of the admins of Fubar News, he popped into the tattoo parlour where Bex worked to collect vouchers for a giveaway.
Though she liked him right away it took a “wee while” for them to get together.
“He was like part of the family before they were official,” Laura jokes.
“I think buying her a kitten from Mrs Murrays sealed the deal,” Angie added.
Kev proposed to Bex in their favourite place – Puerto del Carmen in Lanzarote – and the couple started a family quickly.
Their first baby boy, Westen, was born in November 2019 and their second son, Raylan, came along almost exactly a year later.
“When Covid happened we stopped planning a big wedding and just opted for a registrar,” Bex explained.
From celebration to sickness
In November 2o21 Kev and Bex held a joint birthday party for the boys, celebrating their first and second birthdays. Not long, after, however, both mum and dad started feeling unwell.
“Maureen – Kev’s mum – was helping with the kids because we both had to go to bed.
“Everything changed when Kev told me he thought he needed an ambulance.”
Told it would take up to nine hours, Bex phoned Kev’s dad to come and get him.
He was then admitted to the ARI. Kev, Bex and the boys all tested positive for Covid.
“After about a week he was starting to feel a bit better, and was Facetiming me from hospital. The very same day that I was also allowed to come out of quarantine, the hospital called that night.”
‘My God, I miss my boy,’ said Dad Charlie
In the early hours of December 7 Charlie – Kev’s dad – was called to the hospital when his son’s breathing worsened. Informed that he was going to be put on a ventilator he rushed to see Kev, while Maureen tracked her husband’s journey on her phone.
“I knew when I saw that he got to the hospital and right away turned back, what must have happened,” she said.
“I was only there a few minutes when they told me he had passed away,” Charlie added. “That’s not something you forget. I was in the police for years so was trained not to react emotionally. But my God I miss him.”
‘My mother-in-law is my lifeline,’ says Bex
Maureen had to call Bex to break the devastating news.
Neither were able to see him due to Covid restrictions.
His death was recorded as a pulmonary embolism and Covid.
A sense of it “not feeling real” was echoed by both Bex and her mother-in-law.
In the days, months and now years since Kev’s death, Maureen has been a lifeline for her daughter-in-law.
“I know it will be hard for you to hear this mum,” she says, “but I wouldn’t be here without Maureen.”
“You don’t need to explain that to me,” Angie reassures her. “It was the same when your dad died, his parents kept me afloat too.”
‘Mother’s Day will be a celebration of us all’
It’s no surprise then that Mother’s Days and special occasions have become a team effort.
“I never want my daughter to not have a card from her boys because Kev’s not here to organise it,” Angie explains.
“And I’d never want Maureen to miss out on Mother’s Day because Kev isn’t here either,” says Bex.
So the plan is for Bex and her boys to visit “both the mums” and for all of them to celebrate one another.
And Angie – of Marnoch and Wright – wouldn’t have it any other way.
‘There’s nothing more important than family’
“We have a big back garden and as far as the kids are concerned, ” she says, looking at Ava fixated on her “granda Bob”, “there’s nobody quite like Bob. Findlay, Westen and Raylan all love playing football or going wild outside with Bob.”
Which leaves the girls to celebrate together.
“We’ll have a lovely day together.
“And then I’ll throw them all out and get the house back in order,” Angie laughs.
“But there is nothing more important than family. And we’re a family who knows that more than most.”
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