It had been a secret to me, but everyone around here seemed to know about the Tardis effect going on at the Haughton Arms hotel.
What you think you see on the outside, is not what you get when you cross the threshold.
You are in for a nice surprise.
It’s one of those typical Aberdeenshire country hotels with roots in a bygone age when everyone seemed to stroll about in bowler hats and smart overcoats, with small children turned out immaculately in frocks and bonnets or pint-sized suits.
A grainy old framed picture in a corridor captured that very scene with a large group outside the hotel – a school trip or parade, perhaps?
The big surprise for first-timers at Haughton Arms is that the traditional Scottish menu that you find by day transforms into a full Indian, with bells on, at night.
You will marvel at the choice available, with menu pages crammed with mouth-watering Indian dishes and side-orders. A veritable Pandora’s box from the east.
But, for those with western tastes, they also offer some traditional alternatives at night, too.
For some reason, the normal restaurant was not being used on the Saturday night we arrived, and we were ushered into a function room at the rear.
The room was as pretty and lacy as a blushing bride, which was hardly surprising as it was all done up as though it was waiting for a wedding party, with the tables and chairs dressed in white for the occasion.
I felt an uncontrollable urge to stand up and make a speech, but all I did was spill some Indian pickles and curry sauce on the pristine white table covering. I was mortified as it began to absorb into the linen and spread like blotting paper.
The staff smiled and waved away my profuse apologies – it’s an occupational hazard in a curry house, I suppose. While I am on the subject, the serving staff were a cheery and efficient group, who made us very welcome and comfortable throughout our stay.
There was also a finger-tapping, foot-stomping soundtrack from the 60s playing, which made you want to get up and dance. It was so good, one of the staff kept singing along softly, even although she must have heard it over and over again.
Choices made, we began with poppadoms and delicious pickles, followed by delicate lamb samosas and chicken and brie pakoras.
These were beautifully presented and we shared. The brie pakoras were exquisite, with these lightly-battered golf-ball sized delights opening to reveal warm, gooey cheese.
We could hear distant chatter as people came and went at the other end of the large room – Haughton Arms does a brisk trade in takeaways, and my wife and I could tell they were mostly regulars by the familiar chit-chat.
For mains, chicken and aubergine, with curry sauce, and a Bangalore fish curry, with shared rice and garlic naan bread.
My wife’s chicken and aubergine dish was a new one for her and she loved the combination, even although it was a very generous portion.
We were just in the middle of Puppy Love on the sound track (I think it was the original Paul Anka version and not Donnie Osmond) and he had reached the bit which goes, “Someone help me, help me, please”. Very appropriate, in the circumstances, as my wife announced she could not eat any more, she was full.
The staff picked up on this immediately and, in an instant, they had taken it away and re-packaged it as a takeaway, so we could take it home. It was a nice touch.
There was absolutely no chance of me leaving anything, I was enjoying the fish curry too much. Two generous filleted slices of haddock were floating in a lovely rich fish sauce. It was a big hit with me.
We also loved the naan, which was thin and soft and only crispy at the edges – much better than the heavyweight rubbery naan breads you encounter elsewhere.
Talking of elsewhere, I would say Haughton Arms is as good, if not better, than many Indian rivals, especially with the sheer range of its offerings and dishes you just don’t see elsewhere. We enjoyed it so much, we ordered extra samosas to take away.
We headed home to Aberdeen as a very contented couple, but my heart belongs to Bangalore.