It is an Aberdonian version of Super Size Me, the film that documents one man’s fast-food obsession.
In the early 80s, Glaswegian Alan Bell once ate butteries for breakfast, lunch, snacks AND dinner.
Our weekly Me and My Buttery feature uncovers the reasons – and repercussions – of that fateful day.
And whether it impacted one of Aberdeen FC’s finest moments through the stomach of Alan’s cousin, Dougie Bell, who played in the triumphant European Super Cup team of 1983.
Good day, Alan. Let me start by asking: How do you eat your butteries?
Well, I’m pretty much a dry man. And nine times out of ten it’s cold.
You’re a Glaswegian, Alan. Why are you eating butteries?
I lived in Aberdeen in 1984 and ‘85 working in my sandwich year at university for the city council. I wanted to come up to Aberdeen to watch my cousin, Dougie Bell, who was playing for Aberdeen at the time. Then I came back after I graduated and lived there again for a couple of years.
How did your buttery journey start?
The first introduction would have been the mid-morning snack. This was back in the days of proper tea breaks when your entire department stopped for half an hour.
We’d nip out at 10 o’clock and grab our Aitkens rowies – they had the bakery on the Kirkgate next to the Kirkgate Bar.
How often did you eat them?
That was a daily occurrence. But then one day me and my fellow trainee, Mike, came to the conclusion that you could live on rowies.
So we came in early for breakfast. We had our mid-morning snack. We then bought them for lunch, had them in the afternoon for our mid-afternoon cup of tea and then had them for dinner.
What motivated this?
Sheer stupidity, I have to say! We thought we could have it all. Add a wee bit of sweet and then have something savoury. Though I’m sure we just had plain butteries for the entire day.
How many times did you do this?
Just the once. You’d be in danger of doing something horrendous to your system if you did it more.
How was it?
It was very pleasant, though quite salty. I like to say it was our version of Super Size Me.
I think we may have done it because we were going out that evening so it meant we could go straight to the pub without going home first.
Did cousin Dougie join you in your buttery adventures?
I’d like to say he always had a couple before he went on the pitch, but that would be a complete lie. Dougie is one of the fittest guys I’ve ever met so the chances are he’s never even had a buttery.
If you have an unusual or interesting way to eat your buttery, we’d love to hear about it.
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