“I’d already been questioning my relationship with alcohol for years, and then lockdown made it worse,” says Aberdeenshire mum, Jade Auld.
Jade, who lives near Ellon, came to terms with her unhealthy relationship with alcohol during the Covid-19 lockdown.
So back in 2021, she decided to give Dry January a try for the first time.
This is her story in her own words…
‘That was the final straw’
I think many, many people will relate to the fact that alcohol was an escape during lockdown.
We didn’t have much to do, we were stuck in the house.
If you were predisposed to having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, I think lockdown made this ten times worse.
It was encouraged at every occasion. You had Zoom calls, work quizzes, and you didn’t have to drive everywhere.
I found myself drinking more than I would have liked to have been.
I think that was the final straw.
But I had had strong feelings about my relationship with alcohol since becoming a mum.
I think you start to reassess who you are and the priorities that you have in life.
For me, I was realising that my mind was preoccupied with: oh, I have to go to the shop to get a bottle of wine for the night.
It just wasn’t making me feel good.
It was taking up too much headspace, and I decided a break would be good.
Jade felt she was ‘at a crossroads in life’
My experience with Dry January was really good.
It depends how you go into that.
If you go into that feeling like you’re really going to be missing out, then I think you’d have a completely different experience.
But for me, I had gone so far that I was so ready for change.
I felt that I was really at a crossroads in life.
Dry January felt like the perfect start for me to kickstart some positive changes.
Don’t get me wrong, it was tough.
It was going from drinking to escape your feelings, or for boredom.
I was a single mum at the time. So it was like, what else do you do if you’re single?
I’d just have a glass of wine and watch the telly.
So it was hard not being able to do those things, but replacing them with healthy habits really helps.
‘That’s what made me realise that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol’
There’s still such stigma around the word ‘alcoholic’.
Now I don’t class myself as an alcoholic, but I think there are varying levels of alcoholism.
I certainly wasn’t on a healthy trajectory with my drinking.
I don’t think there has to be a rock bottom or a horrific incident that makes you go: ‘oh, I can’t drink anymore’.
Many people binge drink and many people will just drink at the weekend, but they’ll go over the top.
The other side of the coin is the people who just drink almost every day.
And it may not be that you are drinking vast amounts – you may only be having a couple of glasses of wine.
For me, it was getting up to probably a bottle of wine most days.
But none of my friends and family would have said: you better stop drinking.
Because they weren’t seeing me drunk all the time.
But it’s a constant reliance on that mid-level booziness, that makes you realise that you’re not quite present.
You aren’t quite facing life as you should be.
And I think that’s what made me realise that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
What is Jade’s social life like without alcohol?
Socialising can be really difficult for some people.
If you’re an introvert and you rely on alcohol for going out and being sociable.
But I’m not one of those people.
I’ve been to birthdays, holidays, weddings, all sober now.
And I’ve had people come up to me and say: I can’t believe that you’re not drinking,
Because I will be on the dancefloor all night.
I think that you find an inner confidence that comes with sobriety when you start to realise that you can do all these things without alcohol.
But I honestly think I could be 20 years sober and I’d still sometimes want to drink.
I don’t think that feeling is ever going to go away for me.
The festive season is particularly tricky.
Let’s face it: everything is fizz, mulled wine, Christmas parties and Bailey’s.
So I have to sometimes avoid these things. I won’t go to my work Christmas night out.
It’s knowing your boundaries. If you’re comfortable and feel like you’re going to have fun, then go.
The danger zone is when you’re not enjoying yourself and you stay.
At that point, you have a decision to make.
You either carry on having a really rubbish night and you start resenting sobriety, or you’ll drink.
Aberdeenshire sober mum Jade ‘used to judge people’ who were sober
Now I run my Instagram page which has a large following, so over the years my friends, family and people I went to school with have found out about the page.
So I’ve had no choice but to embrace this sobriety label.
And now I’m really proud of it. I’m not ashamed to have my name against flying the flag for being a sober person.
Because I used to judge people, honestly.
I remember thinking, years ago: ‘How boring must their lives be?’
I would feel sorry for them that they couldn’t experience the fun of alcohol.
But now that I’m a sober person I realise how narrow-minded that was of me.
But I think that so many people think the same way.
I started the Instagram page to hold myself accountable.
It has absolutely helped keep me on the path of sobriety.
And it’s an absolutely privilege for me to now be able to help other people kickstart their sobriety journey.
I’ve had people reach out to me to say that if it wasn’t for my page, they wouldn’t have been brave enough to say to their friends and family that they’re trying sobriety.
That is like the most rewarding thing ever.
If I have any advice for someone trying to go sober, I’d say don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Set small, achievable milestones. Maybe a month, 100 days, 150 days.
Don’t be ashamed of your sobriety. Be confident with it, own your truth.
And find other things to throw your extra time and energy into.
If you or someone you know has been affected by the topics discussed in this article, please reach out for support online here.
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