Hi, I’m Samantha. I’m 26 weeks pregnant and I’ve not had my Covid-19 jab – nor will I ever be vaccinated while I’m with child.
It sounds like I’m owning up to my own truth… confessing to something I know is wrong.
But in all honesty, that’s what it feels like – an admission of guilt, admitting I cancelled my Covid jab.
‘I’m not an anti-vaxxer… I’m scared’
After listening to Nicola Sturgeon’s words yesterday, I feel even worse.
“The message is if you are pregnant, and you are invited for the vaccine, please do get it – it will help you to protect yourself and protect your baby,” said the First Minister.
Nicola, you made a convincing speech, but I still won’t be rebooking my Covid jab until my baby is safely in my arms.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an anti-vaxxer.
I’m just temporarily putting my two doses on ice. I fully intend on being vaccinated later this year…when I am not pregnant.
Why? Well, I’ll be quite honest, I’m scared of any potential harm to my baby.
I completely respect professionals and their guidance – but I suppose I feel shaken by this pandemic.
‘My baby is developing just perfectly… I don’t want to potentially interfere with that’
I’m a worrier through-and-through. I think all mums are really. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t feel some kind of concern for my five-year-old son, and now this unborn babe.
I can’t help but worry about any unknown side effects of the vaccine on my baby.
My little baby is safely snug in my womb, growing well and developing just perfectly. I don’t want to potentially interfere with that.
Sure, other vaccines are given to expectant mums like the whooping cough and flu jab, but they’ve been around for a long time.
I’m not saying the Covid vaccines aren’t safe – I don’t pay much attention to the conspiracy theories whizzing round the web.
However, I do know this vaccine is new. Fact. It’s impossible for anyone to know of any long term implications on unborn children.
‘I’m just a mum trying to make a very personal decision about what’s best for my child’
I hear the experts when they say “but thousands of women in the US have had the vaccine”.
But have these children grown up yet? No. Fact. These kids are basically fresh out of the womb.
Have we been able to rule out the vaccine doesn’t have long term effects on these pregnant women’s children? No. Fact.
My fear is that in X years time, the world’s scientists discover a terrifying link between illness or disabilities, and children who were unborn when their mothers got the vaccine.
Maybe I have a wild imagination.
But maybe I’m just a mum trying to make a very personal decision about what’s best for my child. I’ve read the professional information, but I won’t let myself be pressured into changing my mind.
I’m not trying to spread more crazy conspiracy theories or cause any fear. Oh, and I completely respect any pregnant woman who has indeed had her vaccinations.
It’s a personal choice and you have to take responsibility for your own body and your own baby.
‘Sorry Nic, I’d rather feel guilty for another 14 weeks than potentially a lifetime’
On a local level I certainly haven’t felt pressured by the health service. I know plenty of other pregnant woman who’ve said the same. I think that’s how it should be.
Even so, the mere fact the vaccine is being offered to me while pregnant – and I’m saying no – does still make me feel like there’s a cloud of guilt over my head.
I’ve read the facts and I’ve spoken to my partner, family, friends – even colleagues about my decision.
I know if I catch Covid I could potentially end up extremely unwell. I’ve read there’s a slight increased chance of giving birth prematurely if I catch Covid. If that happens, well, it’s on me and I’ll have to take some responsibility for my decision.
Have I made the right choice for my unborn child and I? Am I being irresponsible for not getting the vaccine?
I don’t know in truth, but I don’t think anyone else could say they truly know either.
I’m not one for taking risks, but I’m sorry Nic, whether it’s a gamble or not – for my health or my baby’s – I’d rather feel guilty for another 14 weeks, than feel guilty about any potential consequences to my child for the rest of my life.