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I had a double mastectomy at 29, now other mums are donating their breastmilk for my newborn son

Steph Mcilhiney says son Deveron is "thriving" on donated breastmilk. Image: Kath Flannery/ DC Thomson
Steph Mcilhiney says son Deveron is "thriving" on donated breastmilk. Image: Kath Flannery/ DC Thomson

When Steph Mcilhiney discovered she had a 90% chance of developing the same cancer that claimed her mum’s life, she faced a difficult decision.

Doctors found she had a faulty gene, BRCA1, which triggers around 3% of breast cancer and 10% of ovarian cancer cases worldwide.

So, at 29, the Turriff fitness instructor had a double mastectomy to vastly reduce her risks.

She also made plans to have her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed further down the line.

But then Covid hit, pushing the second surgery back. And in the meantime Steph, now 39, unexpectedly found herself pregnant with her fourth child.

‘Loads of people were willing to help’

Baby Deveron is now nine months old and “thriving” on breastmilk donated by other mums across the country.

Because of her double mastectomy, Steph is unable to feed him herself.

She explained: “Things started going through my head – I breastfed my other children and it was a big emotional thing for me.

Steph with Deveron, who is now nine months old. Image: Kath Flannery/DC Thomson
Steph with Deveron, who is now nine months old. Image: Kath Flannery/DC Thomson

“I’d be giving the next child a different start in life.

“It’s not the same formula feeding. It’s adequate, but it’s not the best.”

Steph’s first port of call was a milk bank in Glasgow, which was able to provide a few weeks’ supply.

But, fearing it was just a “drop in the ocean”, she turned to social media to find other mums to help.

“Loads of people were willing to help, sending their milk up special delivery,” she added.

Steph sends insulated boxes and gel packs down to the donors, who then post their frozen breastmilk back to the north-east by special delivery.

Steph unpacks one of her special deliveries of donated breastmilk. Image: Kath Flannery/DC Thomson
Steph unpacks one of her special deliveries of donated breastmilk. Image: Kath Flannery/DC Thomson

And she’s also found another north-east mum who’s been keeping her regularly topped up.

“It’s an informed decision you make – you know there are risks involved, but it’s a massive trust thing,” she said.

“It’s easy enough to see someone’s profile and build up a relationship with them.

“The majority of them are milk bank donors as well, so that puts your mind at ease.”

Steph keeps her freezer well-stocked with breastmilk. Image: Kath Flannery/DC Thomson
Steph keeps her freezer well-stocked with breastmilk. Image: Kath Flannery/DC Thomson

Steph added: “I’ve spoken to a few people at baby groups and they had no idea about this.

“The more people are aware this of this, the more people can benefit.”

It was a ‘no-brainer’ decision

In 2017, Steph and her sister Lindsey – who was diagnosed with cancer while their mum was going through treatment – fronted a national Stand Up to Cancer campaign.

Steph said the decision to have her fallopian tubes and ovaries removed wasn’t easy.

“There are a few sides to it,” she added.

“It makes me feel emotional because, even though I don’t want to have more kids, it’s taking away your choice.

“No matter what, that’s it gone. But it could save my life to have them removed.

“I want to be here for the kids that are here already – it’s a no-brainer.”

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