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Where do you start if you want to change your life?

From a young age we're taught that we should be happy with what we've got in life. But in this new two-part series Aberdeen coach Yvette Cirule highlights how an 'it is what it is' approach can limit our real potential.

Yvette Cirule is a life coach in Aberdeen helping people overcome challenges.  Image: Frederique Bouger
Yvette Cirule is a life coach in Aberdeen helping people overcome challenges. Image: Frederique Bouger

Where do you begin if you want to change your life?

You begin by making a decision. Not wishing or hoping for a change, but making a committed decision.

The word ‘decide’ from Latin means to cut off. So by making a true decision you are cutting off ALL the other possibilities – including the possibility of failure.

Making a decision keeps you going towards your goal even when faced with obstacles and setbacks.

Change your life: It is time to get dissatisfied

From a very young age you were taught that you should be happy with what you’ve got.

“Don’t be greedy. Other people have it even worse. Do not complain!”

And even though this outdated advice came with good intentions, as a result of it, you might have acquired an ‘it is what it is’ attitude in life and it is limiting your growth.

It’s great to be happy and grateful for what you have, but in order to make changes, you need to get dissatisfied.

How do you think scientists invented better things? By not being satisfied with the old ones.

Dissatisfaction is the driving force for progress.

Yvette on one of her workshops she's run abroad in Mexico
Yvette on one of her workshops she’s run abroad in Mexico. Image: Frederique Bouger

By ditching the limiting belief that you should be satisfied with what you’ve got, your life could be progressing too.

If you enjoy upgrading your smartphone now and then, imagine how amazing you’re going to feel when you upgrade your life?

Make a list

Make a list of all the things you’re not happy with in your life. Do not hold back.
Try to be as specific as you can.

Now go through that list and take responsibility for your part in creating each of the things you are dissatisfied with.

Remember, what you are not changing you are choosing.

You can either stay the same or change your life
You can either stay the same or change your life. Image: Shutterstock.

Taking responsibility for things that are not working in your life might not be pleasant, but it is liberating. It gives you the power to change.

Pick one thing that you can change, which would make the greatest positive impact on your life.

‘Start by taking imperfect action’

Instead of focusing what you don’t want, write out how you want your situation to be.

Instead of thinking ‘I don’t want to have this horrible job anymore’ write out what your ideal job is.

Your subconscious mind doesn’t understand the negatives, so always focus on the vision of what you DO want.

Life can be an exciting journey. Image: Shutterstock

You probably haven’t changed this because you have either blamed someone else or have focused on all the reasons why you can’t change it. And that is OK.

Don’t waste time judging your past self. You now have new information and you are trying out new ways of thinking.

Ignore all the excuses of why can’t you and keep asking yourself ‘How could I’?

Allow the ideas to come through and start taking imperfect action.

‘Choose your questions wisely’

Whatever question you ask yourself your mind will find the answers.

If you ask yourself why you are always late, you will receive more reasons to be late.

If you ask yourself why you’re so great, your mind will give you plenty of reasons for that too. So, choose the questions wisely.

If you want to make changes in your life, instead of asking yourself what is stopping you, ask yourself “How can I?” or “What can I do to make this possible?”.

Ask the questions. The answers are within you.

You are the expert of you.

Yvette is a motivational speaker and Heal Your Life workshop leader based in Aberdeen. You can find out more about her work here

Image: Shutterstock

 

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