In an Aberdeen changing room that smells of sweat and body spray Callum Hopkins is handing out his five-a-side league’s end-of-season awards.
It’s the usual mix of accolades — MVP of the year, most improved; that sort of thing.
The coveted captain’s shield goes to Ryan Mckenzie, who led the OB City team to a seven-point league victory over the three other teams in the tournament
“They just can’t shut up about it, can they?” says Callum, as cheers — and a couple of good-natured boos — circle the room.
One award, however, stands out. It’s the one for the biggest weight loss over the 12-week season.
“The winner, with an impressive 14kg lost,” shouts Callum, “is Adam.”
The applause rings out as Adam Allan, a 25-year-old golf course manager for Sport Aberdeen, stands up to collect his trophy.
How Fat Fives helped its members lose an average 2.2kg a season
This is not your usual group of five-a-side players. This is Fat Fives, the Aberdeen league where pounds and ounces lost matter just as much as points won.
Over a 12-week season, four teams battle it out for the Fat Fives league trophy. The competition is fierce. Everyone is in to win.
But they are also here to lose weight.
Matches are held every Friday night at Goals Aberdeen in Bridge of Dee, with each player weighed before kick off. Points are awarded for any weight lost, which go toward the weight-loss league held in tandem with the regular game.
The idea, says Callum, who co-founded Fat Fives in April last year, is to motivate men concerned about their weight to do something about it.
And it works.
Callum, a web developer from Inverurie who keeps detailed spreadsheets of everyone’s weight, calculates that last season Fat Fives members lost an average of 2.2kg each.
Adam was the runaway winner of the weight loss crown with 14kg, though other players lost 7kg, including Adam’s dad and cousin.
The success comes from what Callum says is a tight-knit group that supports each other through their weight loss journeys. Fat Fives started with just 10 people, mostly the remnants of a similar weigh-loss league in Aberdeen that folded.
Now, three times that number show up at the pitches on Friday nights, with all fees ploughed back into the volunteer-run venture.
The secret of Fat Fives’ success — graphics and WhatsApp motivation
Healthy eating is encouraged as well as exercise beyond the matches on Friday night.
Crucially, Callum — leaning on his IT expertise — sends each player a weekly email with their weight-loss stats.
On the Fat Fives WhatsApp group he posts graphs and graphics charting the overall weight loss and current scores — motivation, if any is needed, to keep on track ahead of the weekly weigh-in.
“It’s that overriding purpose of why folks are here,” explains Callum. “We encourage the competition on the pitch, but we’ve also got to remember we are here for a greater purpose.”
Parmesan Belgrade throws down the gauntlet for next season
Back in the changing rooms, Richie Massie surveys the Fat Fives players proudly.
“You can see around the room, that everyone supports each other,” he says pointing to the 30 or so people laughing and joking as they get ready for the night’s matches.
But while the support is there for weight loss, the camaraderie fades slightly when the players cross the white line
Richie captains Parmesan Belgrade, which was pipped at the post to last season’s league title by OB City.
The 33-year-old enjoyed a stellar Fat Fives season, winning MVP and losing close to three stone. But that loss to OB clearly smarts; the new season is a week away, and Richie has already set his goals.
“Next season, I want to lose a bit more weight, sustain it,” he says. “And lead Parmesan to the league title.”
Weigh-in banter and a Fat Fives toilet stampede
The click-clack of studs reverberates around the room the players head out to the pitches.
This late-January Friday is a pre-season taster night for new members, so every match is a friendly — a chance for a warm-up before the season starts the following Friday.
It also means there’s no weigh-in — a relief for some who feel they’ve put on a few pounds over the Christmas break.
One player laughs when asked about the weigh-ins, saying they tend to be preceded by a rush to the toilet; a last-minute attempt to bring the scales down.
“There’s a bit of banter,” agrees Richie with a smile. “It can be a bit, ‘Oh, he’s put on weight this week, oh he’s lost some’. But everyone is supportive. They are here for each other.”
How many red cards have the Fat Five refs dished out?
On the pitch, Callum is corralling the players into a team photo.
“Say chips!” someone shouts as the photographer takes the shot.
“Have you got a wide lens?” someone else shouts. Everyone roars with laughter.
Standing on the edge of the frame is Danny Forbes, a volunteer ref for Fat Fives.
“We’re here for fun,” he says, explaining that he has far less trouble keeping the Fat Fives players in line compared to other games he referees. Danny has yet to issue one red card.
“I’m just here for show,” he smiles.
‘It’s been a while since I last played’
The first match kicks off.
There are four teams in Fat Fives, each with its own self-aware name.
There is, of course, reigning champs OB City along with Richie’s Parmesan Belgrade.
Making up the quartet is Scrandanavia and FC Flaberdeen. The games are played in a round-robin, and each match lasts 18 minutes.
This is the first night back, so there’s a bit of huffing and puffing.
Players sub out when tired and swap with a teammate waiting on the sidelines.
A first-timer blows out his cheeks as he comes off.
“It’s been a while since I last played,” says Martin Widerlechner, one of a few new players who came down on this cold evening because a friend recommended it.
Another is Lewis, a 24-year-old oil and gas worker.
“I want to get fit,” he says. “It’s not so much about losing weight.”
From signed off work to playing football twice a week
Also on the sidelines is Steven Robertson.
Looking trim in his Celtic away top, Steven looks a bit out of place amongst his larger colleagues, though he’s not the only one.
Fat Fives is designed for men with a BMI over 26, but it’s not the kind of group that will kick you out for hitting your weight-loss goals.
Steven, though, is at Fat Fives for more than just his physical health.
A few years ago, the primary school teacher was signed off work because of his mental health.
Just getting out of bed was a monumental task, never mind doing exercise.
But Fat Fives, he says, unlocked a door for him. Growing up, he’d always loved playing football and the Friday night sessions rekindled that passion.
“I just wanted to get back to playing football,” Steven explains. “Now I’m in a place where I’m going jogging twice a week and play football twice a week.
“I’m getting back to that place where I want to be.”
For Callum, Steven’s story is as big a win for Fat Fives as any number of kilos shed.
“Life happens and life can be incredibly tough for people,” he says. “But as a group, everybody’s very close knitted together in that goal of trying to make those positive changes.
“And that surmounts the football.”
