Roy Mearns scrolls through his phone, looking for photos from a life well-lived. “I’m trying to find the one of me on Wheel of Fortune,” the 67-year-old retired farmer says.
He’s sitting in his conservatory in Inverurie. “It’s in here somewhere…”
We’ve only been chatting a few minutes, but Roy has already raced through the selected highlights of his past, courtesy of his phone’s photo album.
There’s a picture of a car crash he was in (“Not my fault”) back in 1967, and one from a couple of years ago when the lorry he was driving caught fire.
There’s also the photo of the Porsche 911 he bought after being diagnosed with an untreatable form of non-Hodgkin lymphoma, a cancer that attacks bone marrow.
Now he’s desperately searching for one of him on the 1990s tea-time quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell and Carol Smillie.
“I’ve done a parachute jump as well,” he says, almost as an afterthought. “And I’ve flown a plane.”
A family used to Roy’s tangents
I’d been warned before driving out to Inverurie that Roy was a character, a big personality who could talk for hours.
The problem is, I’m supposed to be speaking to him about his non-Hodgkin lymphoma, and his starring role in next week’s Brave, the annual charity fashion show in which two dozen north-east men with cancer strut their stuff on the catwalk to raise funds for Aberdeen-based Friends of Anchor.
But the conversation repeatedly careens off course. Trying to get Roy to stick to the topic is like trying to keep a dog in a bath. Give him the slightest opportunity and he’s off.
Wife Linda wrestles Roy back on track
Fortunately for me, Roy’s family are here to lend.
Sitting with us is Roy’s wife Linda, who greets most of his tales and tangents with an affectionate eye roll. The two have been married for almost 40 years and it’s clear she’s heard them all before.
In the background is one of Roy and Linda’s three children, Leanne McKay. Leanne is carrying around her daughter Ellie, Roy’s granddaughter and absolute apple of his eye.
All three seem to understand how easy it is for Roy to wander off piste, but it’s Linda who keeps gently nudging him back on track.
As I try to wrestle Roy onto the subject of his cancer, Linda reminds him of what he told her when he bought the Porsche 911 last year; that “he’d better buy it now in case something happens to him”.
This was after his diagnosis in early 2022, when Roy was 65. I ask him if the two things were connected. Did he buy a Porsche because he had cancer?
“Not really,” Roy says, though I can almost feel Linda shaking her head beside me.
“I just thought, well, the hell with it. I’ve always wanted… actually, I really wanted a Lotus Esprit…”
And he’s off again, this time on a story about trying to buy a Lotus Esprit sports car from a man in Norwich.
Roy finds out he has cancer while driving a snowplough
It takes a few goes, but Roy eventually tells me his cancer story.
It starts a few years after he and Linda had sold the family farm near Turiff. They’d sold up to start a haulage business and he initially thought the tiredness was down to his busy schedule.
Still, he went to the doctor to give bloods, and a few weeks later, as he was clearing snow for the council (Roy treats jobs like he does conversational threads – he finds it impossible to stick to just the one) he got a phone call.
“I’d just finished a 12-hour shift,” Roy remembers. “It was the doctor saying I need to see you. I knew then it wasn’t good news.”
Incurable but treatable
Almost from the start, Roy was told his cancer was incurable. But there was an upside.
Tests revealed Roy was part of the 3% of non-Hodkin lymphoma patients with Waldenström macroglobulinaemia (WM), a slower-growing form of the blood cancer. Doctors were optimistic they could treat the condition and prolong Roy’s life.
He is, however, aware that his health could turn at any moment. He’s been through chemo, which though horrible and energy-sapping, has worked.
There is talk of more chemo in the future, but for now he’s feeling pretty good. He’s even got used to swallowing the 27 pills a day he’s been allocated.
As for how long he’s got left, he has a simple yet effective coping mechanism.
“I don’t really think about it,” he says. “If it’s a year, if it’s five years, you just have to take it.”
Changed days for busy Roy
The one thing about terminal cancer that does irk Roy is the tiredness.
As the son of a farmer, and later an actual farmer, Roy prided himself on his ability to work from “dawn till dawn”.
Now, he’s frustrated because he can’t even finish mowing the lawn.
“It bugs me because I can’t do what I used to do,” he says. “I just can’t seem to have the energy.”
This, though, is where Brave comes in. This coming Thursday and Friday night, Roy will be one of the 23 men sashaying down the runway at this year’s venue, P&J Live, in front of a combined attendance of about 1,500.
Thanks to his curtailed energy levels, it’ll be a long couple of nights for Roy.
But as you might have gathered, the man enjoys an audience. He can’t wait to get out there.
He’s even been to a tattooist for the first time in his life to get a Brave logo inked on to his arm. That’s how much he’s looking forward to it.
No chance of opening night jitters, then?
“I might get nervous on the night,” he concedes.
Linda chips in. “I don’t think you will.”
“Yeah,” Roy agrees, and smiles. “I don’t think I will.”
Roy will take part in Brave 2024 at P&J Live on May 16 and 17. Buy tickets for the event here.
