Turning the worst experience of her life into a positive one to help other women who are going through the menopause is something that Karen Farquharson should be applauded for.
But Karen doesn’t care for compliments, all that matters to the determined 50-year-old is empowering and supporting women through the Menopause Aberdeen Facebook page and fighting for change to stop any other women going through the same ordeal she faced.
“I took my ex-employer to a tribunal,” says Karen, who is originally from Peterhead but now lives in Kingswells.
“Through the Menopause Aberdeen support page, I want to show women that you can stand up for yourself and I want to give other women the courage to do it because I succeeded.”
‘It was the worst time of my life’
In a case that made headlines around the world last year, Karen successfully sued her former employer for unfair dismissal and harassment after being told she used the menopause as an ‘excuse for everything’.
An employment tribunal heard her menopause issues were dismissed as ‘aches and pains’ and she won a £37,000 pay-out from the Peterhead engineering firm where she previously worked.
“It was the worst time of my life to be honest,” says Karen.
“It was very stressful and that was on top of what I was going through with the menopause.
“I felt like I needed support myself so that’s when I found the Menopause Aberdeen Facebook page, so I shared my story there and Andrea who founded the group invited me to come onboard as an administrator of the page.”
Free menopause talks in Aberdeen…
Karen’s story has clearly chimed with other women as their Facebook page has grown from 550 members to over 1,900 in just a matter of months.
“I like to support all the other women out there,” says Karen.
“On the page, I share posts from different menopause experts.
“We also organise free talks every month where we have guest speakers along to talk about a range of things.
“For example, we’ve got someone coming along to do a talk on nutrition and we’ve also got a holistic event too because we believe that HRT [hormone replacement therapy] can be enhanced or women can feel better by using supplements as well.
“It all marries together.”
‘It was like being given a life sentence’
From hot flushes, tiredness and brain fog to low mood, sore joints and irritability, Karen really struggled with the menopause.
“The menopause personally for me has been awful,” says Karen.
“I just didn’t want to interact or enjoy life.
“It was like being given a life sentence and you had to get on with it.
“That’s why I wanted to be there for women and turn my negative experience into a positive.”
‘It’s about going through the highs and the lows together’
Being part of a strong online community of women who are all supporting each other through the menopause – when women’s periods stop due to lower hormone levels which usually affects women between the ages of 45 and 55, but it can happen earlier – has massively helped Karen.
“It does feel empowering,” says Karen.
“Some women are going through it worse than others but we’re there as a listening ear.
“I think for women to be able to share their experiences anonymously if they wish, lifts a burden off them.
“It gives them the courage to speak to their GP again or be more direct with their GP and get some answers.
“It’s about going through the highs and the lows together.”
Women’s voices listened to at a national level
As well as being a support network for women who are experiencing menopausal symptoms, the group are also making their voices heard on a national level.
“We’ve actually been invited to be part of the cross-party women’s group for health at the Scottish Parliament which is fantastic,” said Karen.
Looking to the future, Karen hopes that things continue to improve for the better when it comes to treatment and awareness.
“I really want women to get the support from their GPs first and foremost,” she said.
“Also I want to see more support in the workplace, but it is getting better.
“Workplaces are holding more talks and getting policies in place.
“Some employers are also having monthly online coffee chats with their staff including men so they get an understanding of what their colleagues are going through.”
‘I’ll be happily banging the menopause drum for many years’
Karen says it’s great to see other local menopause support groups popping up.
“There’s a new support group in Peterhead and I’ve been invited to do a talk there, and there’s another support group in Inverurie called Menopause Madness and Me,” says Karen.
“There’s also charities out there like Menopause Warriors Scotland so I think they’re making in-roads as well.”
Personally, Karen is in a much better place after finding medication that seems to be working for her but she is not going to rest on her laurels.
“I’m on different medication but it seems to be working for me,” says Karen.
“But I’ll be happily banging the menopause drum for many years to come because it doesn’t stop here, this is us for the rest of our days.
“Medications can change but you don’t get those hormones back anymore.”
For more information about Menopause Aberdeen, check out their Facebook page @MenopauseAberdeen
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