When Jim Grimmer lost his friend to cancer, he wanted to do something for charity in her memory.
But just a day after posting a fundraising update – with a reminder that one in two of us will be diagnosed with cancer in our lifetime – he too found out the lump in his neck was actually a secondary cancer in his lymph nodes.
“In a funny way I think it helped me. There was no ‘why me’ because I had just shared the statistics. I just thought, okay, this is what cancer is. It does affect 50 percent of us. It just so happened that I was next,” Jim said.
Murder detective Jim is used to tough situations
Born and raised in Aberdeen, the dad-of-two, who also has two step sons, is well used to handling difficult situations. Before he launched his own company – P3 Business Care – he spent 20 years in the oil and gas sector and two decades before that with Grampian Police.
Predominantly with CID, Jim specialised in serious crime and was a detective involved in multiple high profile murders in the north-east.
After his initial two years based in Keith, Jim’s police career covered the Granite City.
“I was a uniformed officer for five years then made the switch. And I loved it. I was just a young detective on the Brian Beattie murder enquiry but because I came from Kincorth – where the murder happened – I was useful.
“I was later also involved with the investigations into the deaths of George Murdoch and Julie King.
“It was a lot of years of hard work, but I really did love my job.”
‘I felt a call to Basra, I knew I had to go’ says Jim
So much so that in 2005 he harnessed all his years of policing know-how to mentor Iraqi police officers in Basra.
It was quite the season of change.
After Jim’s first marriage ended he later reconnected with old school friend Ashlyn Craig.
During a holiday to New York, the pair decided to get married at City Hall ahead of Jim heading to Iraq.
“I had just got married to Ashlyn so in our first year as a married couple I spent nine-week blocks away in Basra, coming home for three weeks, then heading off again.
“It was an incredible time. I had a real sense of calling about it. I had just recently found a faith in God and I knew it was something I had to do.”
‘Losing a friend to cancer made me think about my own health’
Following his time in Maysan Province, on behalf of the UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office, Jim was awarded the Iraq Reconstruction Medal.
On his return to Aberdeen he began working in the oil and gas sector.
“With the exception of a year out, when Ashlyn and I went to Australia for a year to go to Bible College, life sort of returned to normal.”
It wasn’t until 2020 that Jim, dad to Natalie and footballer Jack Grimmer and stepsons Grant and Tim Gilbert, really had to think about health.
“I lost my friend Margo Stevenson in December 2020 and so you do sort of come face to face with your own mortality when you lose someone.
“Honestly, I felt like I was in really good health, no issues to be concerned about.”
‘I was fundraising for a cancer charity then I became the one in two’
In early 2021 he made his mind up to walk from Lands End to John O’Groats to raise funds for Friends of Anchor, but the pandemic thwarted his plans.
“Instead, I downloaded an app that helped me measure out how much I had to walk each day to do the same distance I had planned to walk.
“It worked out at six miles every day for six months.
“But about halfway through I was aware that there was a bit of a lump on the left side of my neck. It was there for a few weeks so I was sent for a biopsy.
“I still didn’t think too much about it. I just remember making a video to share on social media about how my fundraising was going. Actually I even said the words ‘you know, one in two of us will be impacted by cancer.’ Then the very next day I got the call to say we’re really sorry it’s squamous cell carcinoma – HPV 16 positive. I was the one in two.”
Relentless tests and treatments followed
The diagnosis meant that a cancerous squamous cell tumour had been identified, caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV) type 16. Strongly associated with head and neck cancers, particularly in the throat, there was no time to waste.
“I met my consultant, Mr Shakeel. He had a look in my throat and thought the primary tumour was on my tonsils.
“However, we later found out it was actually at the base of my tongue.”
What came next was a whirlwind of activity. Tests, scans, biopsies, dental extractions, all ahead of surgery.
Following the removal of his tonsils and a biopsy on the base of his tongue, Jim had a session of chemotherapy and 30 doses of radiotherapy.
‘I’ll be honest… it was a hard slog,’ Jim added
“Of course it felt unfair. I had never smoked. I was in the middle of raising funds for a cancer charity. But we had to trust that even though it was stage three that we would get through it and good would come from it.”
It was a gruelling regime of treatment.
“After three weeks of daily radiotherapy I was exhausted. The fatigue became really bad. I then developed a type of pneumonia and had to be admitted to the anchor unit.
“I was in hospital for 12 days and in that time I lost three stone.
“My swallow was affected so had to be fed through a nasal tube.
“My treatment finished in October 2021 but it was another 20 weeks before I was pain free. Nothing they gave me even touched the sides when it came to throat pain.
“It really was a hard slog.”
All clear was the green light to get back to normal
Three weeks after his treatment ended Jim and Ashlyn visited Maggie’s for the first time.
“It was just a haven for us,” said Ashlyn.
“Jim could go to the head and neck group, but there were people there that I could talk to as well. We’re very thankful for the team at Maggie’s.”
In April 2022, following a PET scan Jim was given the great news that there was no sign of any cancer in his body.
“That was like permission to go back to normal. Or at least, a new normal,” he said.
‘Feeling neck changes came with a sense of dread this time’
The couple kept volunteering at Friends of Anchor, Jim took part in Brave, and he continued developing his business which helps companies look after their workforces through proactive pastoral care.
But in December 2023 Jim sensed changes in his neck once more.
“When you have surgery and cancer treatment it can leave scarring or cause fibrosis. But it’s always best to get it checked.
“I had a CT scan and a 3cm tumour was identified on the carotid artery.
“We had three options: operate, leave it or more radiotherapy.
“It couldn’t be operated on because of where it was, we couldn’t leave it… so that only left more radiotherapy.
“I’ll be honest, I had more of a sense of dread this time because I knew what lay ahead.”
‘I was delighted to ring the bell second time round,’ said Jim
Jim was booked in for another 30 sessions.
“Ashlyn and I went to Rome for a week to watch the Scotland Italy rugby match, knowing it would be the last nice thing for a while.
“We came back, and treatment started.”
Despite his worries his time Jim came through it relatively unscathed.
“You know, after the first round they let me ring the bell to celebrate. And I was just scunnerred by the whole thing. I was tired, thin, fed up… but this time was different.
“I managed to keep eating, I felt much more well. This time I was delighted to ring the bell.”
‘We’re both so incredibly thankful,’ say the Grimmers
By Hogmanay 2024 he was once again all clear.
“I am hugely grateful; we both are,” Jim added.
In fact, the couple’s unswerving gratitude has become the stuff of legend at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary.
“During the first lot of treatment, to say thank you to the incredible radiotherapy team, Ashlyn came up with this idea… she called it ‘thankful Thursday’.
“We would go in each week and with a basket of goodies for staff in the radiotherapy department, just to say thanks and to keep us focusing on something good.
“Before long everybody seemed to be talking about the couple that bring in the goodies on a Thursday,” Jim laughed.
‘I think God brought me through this for a reason’
And how is the future looking now?
“Well, there are ongoing issues. My voice is very croaky but I guess you can’t go through all of that without your body paying the price.
“In ourselves though, we are good. Ashlyn has been asked to start a listening service for Friends of Anchor as part of the wellbeing team, and my business is going well too.
“It boils down to this; I don’t believe God brought me through this twice for nothing.”
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