It’s often said that having a child is a miracle. But for Ellon’s Karen Gordon, it really was.
Having been diagnosed with breast cancer at just 25, she was told treatment would most likely leave her childless.
Undaunted, Karen and husband William gave it their best shot. But it appeared the doctors were right.
Until they weren’t.
Ellon couple’s long and daunting journey to parenthood
In 2013 Karen, from Ellon, was diagnosed with breast cancer.
“I found a lump in my left breast, and so went to my GP,” said Karen, now 38.
“They told me to come back in two weeks’ time if it had grown or hadn’t settled. So I went back after two weeks and was told I’d be given a referral to the breast clinic.
“However, I waited quite a long time for that referral to come through. I eventually phoned the GP and asked why I hadn’t had my referral through.
“They basically told me that they thought I was too young and too low-risk to have cancer, so I wasn’t going to be getting a referral.
“So I then had to fight to get a referral. I eventually managed to get an appointment at ARI where I had a scan and a biopsy done.
“Within a week of that, I was told I had breast cancer.
“I was scared. I just couldn’t believe I was getting told I had cancer.
“It was a bit of a blur to be honest. My husband was with me at the time, and he also struggled to take the information in.”
‘It was a really big lump’
Karen underwent a series of scans and blood tests, before a gruelling treatment plan started, involving chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a lumpectomy.
Worst was the chemo, which left her feeling very ill. But it got her to the stage where she was ready for a lumpectomy.
“At first I was told it was going to be a mastectomy. They weren’t quite sure how it was going to go with the chemotherapy. It was a really big lump.
“But they managed to shrink the cancer down so well that they basically just had to remove the cancer that was left.”
After a year of treatment, Karen received the joyous news she was cancer-free.
A ‘devastating’ blow for Ellon couple
However, before undergoing treatment, she and William were told they might never be able to have children due to the strength of the chemo.
As a nursery practitioner surrounded by young children every day, and with friends all starting families, this came as a cruel blow to Karen.
“That was really hard. Quite devastating actually.
“We had so much to think about in such a short space of time. I’d been diagnosed with cancer, been told I might not be able to have children, that I might need to have a mastectomy, to then go on and have radiotherapy… it was just so much to take in all at the one time.
“All my friends were starting to have children. It made me feel like the odd one out. Frustrated, angry.
“I kind of took myself away from some of my friends because I struggled to cope with it.”
‘We just felt ‘it’s not going to happen”
Despite the gloomy outlook, something deep inside was telling Karen there was a chance.
After treatment, and getting the all-clear, the couple were told they’d have to wait two years before they could try for children.
“We were offered to have my eggs frozen before treatment because the chemotherapy could have affected my fertility so much. But that would have delayed my treatment and we didn’t want that.
“After two years, we started trying for a child.
“We had a few miscarriages, and we just felt ‘it’s not going to happen.’
“But then, eventually, it did.”
Matthew was born in September 2016. He’s now a happy, healthy eight-year-old.
And the Gordon family is complete.
“We call Matthew our rainbow baby. We look to him as the one that was meant to be.
“People often ask me, ‘When are you having another child?’ and going on and on about it.
“It does annoy me, because we’ve been through so much that we almost didn’t have Matthew.
“We feel blessed to have the one that we’ve got. We don’t want any more, we’re happy.”
‘I do still have a lot of health anxiety’
Though she has been cancer-free for 11 years, Karen admits her health battles have taken their toll mentally.
“I do still have a lot of health anxiety,” she said.
“I think even more now because I’m a mum – I’ve got an eight-year-old that relies on me.
“I’ve always been very honest with him. He knows I had cancer, he’s seen pictures of when I lost my hair. He’s come to some of my hospital appointments with me.
“And I know some people might not agree with that, but that was part of my life.”
In recognition of her against-the-odds story, Karen has been chosen as one of the models at this year’s Courage on the Catwalk.
The annual show, arranged by the Friends of Anchor charity, shines a spotlight on some of the north-east’s most courageous and inspirational women.
She wants to use the platform to raise awareness – on several levels.
“I was told I was too young and low-risk to have cancer. So I don’t want people to be fobbed off.
“If you know something is wrong with your body, you need to fight to get it checked out.
“It’s actually happened to a lot of the girls I’ve spoken to who are doing Courage on the Catwalk.
“A lot of them have had to fight for referrals. And that shouldn’t be the case.
“I want people to know that cancer can strike at any age.”
‘I don’t think people understand what it feels like for couples who can’t have children’
She added: “I also want to get the message across to women that it’s really hard when you’re struggling to have children.
“It’s okay to feel not normal, to want to hide away or to not feel happy for others. It’s okay to have these feelings, and you should never feel pressured into having children.
“You need to be fit and healthy yourself before having a child.
“I don’t think people understand what it feels like for women who can’t have children.”
Among the crowd at Courage on the Catwalk will be Matthew, who told The P&J: “I’m super happy mummy is taking part in the catwalk and I can’t wait to watch her.”
The Ellon family’s struggles have given them a sense of gratitude that is perhaps lacking in some other households.
“Having a family after going through what we have absolutely helps put things into perspective, and makes us grateful for what we have,” said Karen.
“Things that would have bothered me a lot before just don’t bother me now.
“Life’s too important to dwell on silly things.
“We make the most of things, we enjoy our family time together, we go on lots of holidays.
“Matthew’s our priority.”
‘He could have walked away and he didn’t’
And Karen paid tribute to her husband, who has been at her side every step of the way.
“William knew I was going through this, but all he could do was support me, be there to wipe the tears.
“He took all the time off he needed to come to all the appointments.
“He was my rock.
“We were very young at the time. He was only 25 and for such a young lad he handled it so well.
“He could have walked away and he didn’t.
“And now we’ve got Matthew, and that’s all we’ve ever wanted, really.”
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