The start of a new year often prompts us to set goals and make promises for the months ahead. Unfortunately, many of those are broken within weeks – whether we were planning on losing weight, advancing our career, improving our lifestyle or spending more time with friends and family.
The professionals at First Psychology Scotland are shedding some light on the reasons behind giving up on new year’s resolutions and offer some advice to help you stick it out this year.
WHY DO WE GIVE UP?
Have you met your “internal saboteur”? A term coined in the 1950s, it refers to many people’s fear of change.
While most of us think we are keen to lose those extra pounds or take on the responsibility of a more senior position at work, in reality we fear striking out into the unknown.
Whether we find it fulfilling or not, we crave the familiarity of what we know. This includes our current diet and drinking habits, the jobs we are in as well as little daily routines we cling to – despite many people wishing they could get out of a rut.
Our internal saboteur is what holds us back. It is the part of us that lacks the confidence to make the changes we want or sees the negatives and downsides of what we may be resolving to do. Although it is often in the background, it is an extremely powerful voice and can easily undermine our attempts to change by setting barriers that force us back into our habitual ways of thinking and behaving. Learning to recognise the internal saboteur and its patterns/tactics is the first step to help you stay true to your resolutions in the long term.
HOW TO STICK TO THEM
Start by reviewing the resolutions you have made: if there are more than two or three, consider where your priorities are and concentrate on those. The internal saboteur will thrive on the confusion created by setting too many changes at the same time.
A common internal saboteur trick is to focus on failure, to make you feel demoralised and give up. Counteract this by setting small goals that are achievable. These will give you regular positive feedback as you build towards your end goal.
The internal saboteur can be incredibly critical if you have a bad day and fall back into your old habits. This can make you want to give up. Just remember to treat each day as a separate entity, and “start again” each morning. Having the odd bad day is normal and is to be expected. Don’t let the internal saboteur tell you otherwise.
You can also help yourself combat the internal saboteur by talking about your resolutions. Telling friends and family about your goals will make them appear more real, and you will find that there is suddenly someone in your corner rooting for you.
You could also join forces with a friend: it’s easier to stick to a new exercise regime or have more alcohol-free days, for example, if someone is there supporting you to stand up to your internal saboteur and vice versa.
Compiled by Professor Ewan Gillon, clinical director and managing director, First Psychology Scotland.
First Psychology Scotland operates bespoke psychological centres in Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen, Dundee and the Borders. The centres offer a range of psychological services including cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling, psychotherapy, relationship/ couples counselling and coaching. Each centre offers a professional and credible environment and the Edinburgh, Glasgow and Aberdeen centres currently provide services for over 200 clients each week. Therapy can be provided regardless of where the client lives, with telephone and online treatment available – particularly useful for individuals who may find that face-to-face treatment makes them anxious.
Phone 0131 668 1440 or visit the website www.firstpsychology.co.uk