As a teenager studying at Forres Academy, Laurence Williams signed up to a high school exchange programme in the hope of making friends across the world.
The then 17-year-old connected with American Julia, who lived in Mount Dora in Florida which is twinned with the Moray town.
The committed pair wrote to each other for six years, and in that time Laurence fell in love with his pen friend.
But he never told her how he felt.
That was until 2015, when devastating news forced him to share his true feelings.
Laurence, now 31, explained: “We remained close friends and pen pals until 2015, when Julia discovered she had a brain tumour.
“I dropped everything, confessed I had always loved her and moved to America to marry her.”
Pen pal pair get married
The couple married in June 2016, with their “wonderful” marriage leading to the birth of son, Ruari, who was born in 2020.
“Even though quarantine was a struggle, we were exceptionally happy,” Laurence told The P&J.
“Julia had learned to be grateful for having had cancer, as it had brought her a life she had dreamed of.”
Sadly Julia’s cancer returned in 2021, and she underwent her third brain surgery.
She exhausted the few approved treatments for her rare disease – anaplastic astrocytoma – and it continued to grow.
Despite participating in a clinical trial at Mayo Clinic, the tumour increased in size.
She also tried a variety of off-label drugs in conjunction with even stronger brain cancer drugs, which unfortunately made her sicker and the cancer still grew.
“Julia had radiation for the second time in January 2023 but, by the summer, not only was the cancer showing significant growth, it had spread to a completely different area of the brain near the cerebellum,” Laurence explained.
“In September, she went through proton therapy radiation to treat this area of the brain but it wasn’t enough.”
Julia tragically died in November at the age of 31, leaving behind her beloved husband and little boy.
‘Mummy was strong and her legacy will live on’
Laurence has continued living in Mount Dorada with their son, and the pair are doing everything they can to keep Julia’s memory alive.
“The thing Ruari will tell you when you ask about her Julia is that ‘mummy was strong’,” he said.
“Throughout her life, even through her battle with the disease, Julia displayed a great amount of courage, optimism and joy.”
The Forres native said he was “proud” of everything he did for his late wife which involved being her carer.
“To Julia, I was her knight in shining armour, her gladiator,” he shared.
‘Running helped me cope’
As he cared for his wife, Laurence said he used running “to cope”.
And it is that coping mechanism he is now using to shed a light on brain cancer.
The father is now getting ready to compete in two 70.3 miles triathlons on both sides of the Atlantic in Julia’s memory.
He will take part in one in Florida and one in Forres just days apart this June to raise money and awareness for Gray Nation Endurance, which is part of the National Brain Tumor Society, and the UK-based Brain Tumour Society.
“The training required for this challenge made me feel like Julia’s gladiator again, like a champion,” he said.
“I’m doing this for myself, to continue to be the person fate forced me to become, to challenge myself and to keep myself on my toes.”
‘I want to feel the extra, unnecessary fatigue’
Laurence knows he will be “exhausted” by the end of the challenge, but says this is the whole point.
“I want to feel the extra, unnecessary fatigue. Being a caregiver was exhausting, but I did it, and I want to know I can maintain that level of discomfort and fatigue even when I don’t have to,” he explained.
“To someone with brain cancer, anything else is easy. Caregiving to that sort of intensity at that level and being a parent too, it’s so much more exhausting than any kind of physical insurance.
“I’m hoping that people see the effort made and feel moved to learn more about brain tumours or make a donation to the National Brain Tumor Society.”
We spoke to Laurence this afternoon while he is in Washington, D.C, meeting with politicians to campaign for more funding, research, innovation and awareness into brain cancer.
He wants to ensure no more families go through what he or his son have.
“What we do here is going to have knock on effects, so hopefully if Ruari knows anyone with brain cancer they have a better outcome,” he said.
Laurence has a blog in which he tracks his journey of “caregiving, grief, mindset, and moving forward”.
You can read more here.
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