When Diana Milne first began treatment for non-Hodgkin lymphoma, she could not even speak to the other patients in her ward.
Struggling to face the reality of her situation, she refused to join any support groups or chat to others going through a similar situation.
But four years on, she is now preparing to take part in Courage on the Catwalk to raise funds for Friends of Anchor – and has seized the chance with both hands.
The ladies selected for the fashion show were actually picked in 2020 before lockdown.
During that time, they have formed a unique bond – even stronger than those usually formed by the men and women who take part in the fundraiser.
Mrs Milne said: “If you’re given the opportunity to do Courage on the Catwalk I just think you shouldn’t think twice – just do it. Even if the show didn’t go ahead I’ve made friends for life.
“It’s just such a lovely experience but it definitely raises awareness and raises a great deal of money, and I think if you’re honoured to be part of that then just go for it.”
My daughter was ‘my absolute lifeline’
Late in November 2017, Mrs Milne began feeling unwell and eventually went to her GP with a persistent cough.
Enlarged lymph nodes were found in her groin and the 57-year-old was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma in January 2018.
The community mental health nurse, from Inverbervie, said: “I’ve re-lived that moment in my head so many times.
“I felt like my face was on fire and I was just in total shock. Although I’m a nurse and I’m Dr Google as well, I had convinced myself that it wasn’t anything sinister.
“Because if you don’t know anything about cancer, which I didn’t, you always just think of people really, really poorly and you just don’t realise that the early stages could be missed.
“But I came to terms with it very quickly because I had in my head ‘right we’ll have a plan. Let’s just crack on with this plan and get it done with’.
“I wasn’t thinking the worst – or at least I was trying not to.”
Mrs Milne’s daughter Alana became her “lifeline” – flying home from New York to be with her during treatment.
She began chemotherapy in March 2018 and by the end of July had finished her treatment. That September, doctors said there was no evidence of cancer and by November she started to return to work.
‘Courage is a total turnaround for me’
But despite getting back to normality relatively quickly, there was still a niggling doubt in her mind.
“I’ve been cancer free for three years,” the mother-of-three said. “It was absolutely surreal and it took me a long time to accept that was the case because of all the negative thoughts just thinking that it was going to come back. There is quite a high chance with lymphoma that it does come back.
“I had never heard of survivor’s guilt but I definitely had it and I still do have it. I don’t cope well with hearing about other people that aren’t so fortunate and for that reason I had no cancer friends.
“So this Courage on the Catwalk has been a total turnaround for me because the whole time I was having treatment I didn’t even engage with the other people that were having their chemo. It was just so tricky to get my head round.”
‘We’ve got a common link’
She reflected on the friendships forming among the group and said they are looking forward to hitting the catwalk at the Beach Ballroom on May 7 and 8 – but that it would be tinged with sadness as they have lost three women since the group was first selected.
“It’s nice to catch up with everybody again,” she said. “There’s a little sadness because we started at 24 and we’ve lost three women so that’s a little bit sad.
“The rehearsals are a good laugh with everybody, there’s so many different personalities but we all have that one thing in common and the Anchor girls are so, so nice. You couldn’t ask for nicer girls to help organise this event.
“I would never have thought that 24 strangers could come together and speak the way we do to one another but it’s just that common link because we all know how each other feels.
“Everybody’s circumstances are different – some people are still living with cancer, some people have been cancer free for a long time but we all have had that experience.”
No stranger to fundraising
And although the fashion show is an all-new experience, Mrs Milne has previously raised more than £13,000 for Friends of Anchor by hosting two events called Dress to Impress, with her youngest son Jamie.
Her other son Jon also flew home from New York to surprise her for Dress to Impress.
She has also been selling sea glass artworks, and has another event in the pipeline for this year.
“I love being able to give back,” she said. “I just feel it’s something you should do if you can.
“I just think you should if you can do your bit and it’s good fun, you know these events are good fun.”
Tickets for Courage on the Catwalk have sold out, although there is limited balcony seats available.
