Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

‘A ray of sunlight in Aberdeen’: Dates-n-Mates charity looking for new members

Members of Dates-n-Mates take part in a range of events, including the annual Kiltwalk.
Members of Dates-n-Mates take part in a range of events, including the annual Kiltwalk.

If you are looking for love in Aberdeen then a Dates-n-Mates event might be the place for you.

The Aberdeen branch of the national charity has now been running for seven years bringing people together through social events – and they are always ready to welcome new members.

Sean Coyle, a community engagements and events planner, shared that the charity is focused on supporting love and friendship for adults with learning difficulties.

Group helps people to get out and about

The weekly events take place in and around the city centre and are organised based on the preferences of the members.

Group gatherings to the pub or bowling alley are a chance for socialising, while events, such as the Kiltwalk, allow them to collectively fundraise for a cause that means a lot to them.

Members are urged to come out of their shells and given the opportunity to try out new things and build their confidence.

Dates-n-Mates members at the Cost is Correct Fundraiser. Supplied by Dates-n-Mates.

The events are an opportunity for new connections to be created, and in the long-term, they may find love and be able to form relationships.

Earlier this year, the charity received lottery funding which will help them to continue organising events over the next couple years and hire more staff to expand into Aberdeenshire.

Dates-n-mates has four branches in Scotland led by dedicated teams, including directors who have their own experience of a learning difficulty.

Helping people find their voice

Sarah Paterson has been director of the Aberdeen branch since its launch in 2015 – and plays a significant role in influencing the direction of the charity in the north-east.

The day after she finished college she had her very first day working with Dates-n-Mates.

“I didn’t know where to go after finishing my course,” she said. “I heard about Dates-n-Mates about two months before the launch. Then my mum helped me with the application and I had a successful interview.

“Everyone was so nice and welcoming which made me feel more relaxed.”

Seven years later, she is still in the same role helping to give people with learning difficulties a voice.

“I’ve learnt how to communicate better and that it’s ok to ask for help,” she added. “I’m able to connect with the members and can relate to them emotionally.”

Sarah Paterson is a director at Dates-n-Mates in Aberdeen. Picture by Kenny Elrick/DC Thomson.

Building confidence

During lockdown, Miss Paterson started hosting virtual workshops which have been beneficial for her and the members.

She has covered a range of topics she feels are important, including mental health, self-care and confidence.

“They’ve been really helpful for getting people to open up,” she said.

“From the perspective of a person with a learning difficulty, I know what’s overwhelming to members and can help make everyone comfortable.”

Working alongside the members and taking part in events has allowed Miss Paterson to find a balance when it comes to socialising and learn how to relax from sensory overload.

In 2018, she was named 0n the UK Learning Disability and Autism Leaders List in recognition of her achievements working with the charity.

Some of the members enjoying an Aberdeen event organised by Diamond of the Deen Events. Supplied by Dates-n-Mates.

Richard Reid, a trustee for the charity in Aberdeen, has also experienced a great increase in his confidence since becoming a member.

One thing he is passionate about is improving wheelchair access at the venues where the member events are held.

“I never thought I’d be a trustee, but it’s going great,” he said. “Dates-n-mates is a big ray of sunlight in Aberdeen.”

There are currently around 60 members in the north-east, and the charity is always keen for more people to get involved through its online or in-person memberships.

Conversation