When Aberdeen mum Tracy Steele, 50, took her own life, devastated family and friends were left wondering if more could have been done to help her.
Now almost five months on, childhood friend Mary Farquhar is hoping a fundraising night at Pittodrie will help raise vital cash so others won’t experience a loss like theirs.
Through tears, Mary, an employee of Kongsberg Maritime UK Ltd, said: “It’s still hard. I still can’t believe she’s gone. I’d known her since she was 11 but even I didn’t realise just how ill she was.”
Tragedy struck
On Tuesday May 3, after failing to answer her phone, Tracy’s 21-year-old son Lewis Milne visited his mum’s home and discovered that she had taken her own life.
Following a series of tragic events, though outwardly upbeat, Tracy’s mental health had started to decline.
Speaking about the day of her death, Lewis said: “When you know someone is struggling to that extent you prepare yourself. Or you try to.
“Even still, and even as an assistant funeral director myself, it’s not easy. I’m thankful though that I was the one to be there for her.”
‘She really wasn’t well’
At the time, Lewis bravely spoke of his mum’s struggles to shed light on the importance of people receiving the help they need in a mental health crisis.
He said: “She really wasn’t well.
“It’s so hard as a son… you’re powerless almost. I had to trust that all the systems in place to support those struggling with their mental health would work.
“In my mum’s case, she kind of fell through the cracks.”
But Mary and her fellow mental health first-aid team members are determined not to let others do the same.
Special night in a special place
She said: “Most of the team have a personal connection to mental health or suicide, and being part of that group showed me the importance of getting people to talk – as early and as often as possible. I’m hoping we raise thousands to support organisations that promote this. And I don’t want Tracy’s death to be in vain.”
In partnership with Aberdeen Community Trust and SAMH Scotland, who will split the proceeds, the Kongsberg employees have organised a quiz night with a raffle and live band on October 7 at 7pm, in the Richard Donald stand at Pittodrie.
The club was an important place for Tracy and husband Malcolm, as both were involved in the community trust. She also worked at the football ground selling sweets, pies and sausage rolls as a teenager.
‘Don’t give up on yourself or others’
Tracy left behind Lewis, Malcolm, and her wider family and friends. The hope for the night, however, is that her legacy will also be helping others.
Mary said: “There will be people reading this, or people thinking of getting support who still have a chance to become well again – but only if they know help is available, and only if there’s no stigma attached to admitting how you’re feeling.
“If we help just one person, then something good will have come from this tragedy.”
For more information on SAMH, visit www.samh.org.uk
If you need to talk to someone, you can contact the Samaritans 24/7, free of charge, on 116 123 or visit their website.
Conversation