More than 300 hearts with the names of much-loved and missed babies have been hung on a memory tree in Aberdeen.
The ribbon display at Hazlehead Park aims to raise awareness during Baby Loss Awareness Week while offering families an opportunity to remember their losses.
Among the hearts on display is the name of Lyndsey and John Spier’s first daughter, Kirsty, who was only 33 hours and 20 minutes old when she died peacefully in their arms.
The loss was something the couple never expected after a “textbook pregnancy”.
“I fell pregnant in 2004 after trying for a couple of years,” Lyndsey shared. “It happened just as we were about to have some investigations.
“I sailed through the pregnancy.”
Sharing Kirsty’s story
The mum-to-be was booked in for an induction nine days after her due date but went into labour the night before.
“I didn’t feel quite right but I didn’t know what to expect,” she said. “I was getting more agitated.
“Hours and hours passed at the hospital and her heart rate would drop and come back up again.
“I was only 5cm dilated after 12 hours and her heart rate dropped again so I had to go for a crash section.”
Baby Kirsty was delivered quickly but was not breathing – and the new parents were told she had suffered irreversible brain damage.
“She would have no quality of life,” Lyndsey said. “Not be able to do anything for herself – speak, walk, function as a human.
“She couldn’t breath on her own and we were advised to withdraw the life support.
“It was in a lovely quiet room and she died peacefully in our arms. We were able to tell her everything we wanted to tell her.”
‘Never want her to be forgotten’
Lyndsey has found comfort in sharing Kirsty’s story and has been able to process the experience with help from Sands – the UK’s leading baby loss charity.
The Aberdeen branch is run by a group of dedicated volunteers who are also all bereaved parents.
“I don’t know where I’d be without them,” Lyndsey said. “I was scared to speak about it at first – I felt like I was the only person in the world it had happened to.
“Two people from Sands came to the house to speak to me and helped me realise I was not going mad and others felt the same.”
The family, including “angel” daughters Lucy, 18, and Sophie, 11, mark the day Kirsty was born every year.
“It was a very horrific time for all of us,” Lyndsey said. “Kirsty would have been 19 in April and it still hurts.
“I never want her to be forgotten.”
Babies remembered at Hazlehead Park
Lyndsey credits the volunteers for helping her “put her life back together” and wants to raise awareness about the support available.
“They’re all such lovely people and the support is amazing,” she said.
Since 2020, the Aberdeen group has set up a memory tree in the city for people to share hearts to remember their lost babies.
The ribbon display tree in Hazlehead Park will be on display until October 19 and people can still add their own ribbons.
“The first tree had a few hearts and this year we have more than 300,” volunteer Sandra Stephen said.
“It’s getting bigger and bigger each year. It means so much to the parents and reminds people we are here.”
The charity has become a “lifeline” for many families in Aberdeen and across the country, with branches also open in Shetland, Orkney and Moray.
“We’re kept quite busy,” Sandra added. “People get in contact just after a loss or it can be 40 to 50 years later.”
Baby Loss Awareness Week 2024
Sands is working alongside charity MISS for Baby Loss Awareness Week 2024 who held a virtual support session with the theme of self-care to mark the start of the week.
They will also host a Wave of Light service on Monday evening at the Forget Me Not Garden at Hazlehead Crematorium.
Those who cannot attend in person are invited to light a candle from home at 7pm.
Founder Abi Clarke said: “There is a lot happening during the week but continuing support after the awareness week is so important.
“We want people to know we have that support there as well.”
Conversation