Dunbeg mum Susan Simpson has suffered the devastating loss of two babies.
While such grief is unimaginable, she has turned her pain into a powerful force for good, working to help others create lasting memories in their time of sorrow.
Together with her husband, Andrew, and former RAF pilot Michael McGuire from Fort William, Susan co-founded the Anam Cara Fasgadh charity.
This organisation provides vital support to parents, siblings, and extended families in the difficult hours and days following the loss of a child.
In a further effort to offer comfort, the charity has launched the Creating Memories Fund. Partnering with schools across Scotland, including Oban High School, the initiative aims to raise awareness about the heart-breaking issue of pre- and post-natal child loss.
The fund will help provide families with the opportunity to stay at the charity’s holiday caravan, Poppy’s Place, near Oban, offering them a peaceful space to heal and make cherished memories.
Mrs Simpson believes that giving families the time and space to create new memories is a vital part of the healing process, especially when coping with a loss that she describes as never truly becoming easier.
The heart-breaking loss of Eilidh Beth
Fourteen years ago, Mr and Mrs Simpson tragically lost their daughter, Eilidh Beth, just three years after the loss of their son, Alex.
Despite their profound grief, the couple – who now have two children, Charis and Noah – openly share their story in the hope of helping others understand the depth of their pain and the ongoing journey of loss. Their openness serves as a source of comfort and guidance to others navigating similar heartache.
The couple knew that their longed-for baby was critically ill, but never gave up hope that she would be born safely and that they would have a full and happy family life with her.
“Medical staff had real problems delivering Eilidh Beth. I was under for far longer than I should have been and my consultant had to call in a colleague to help with delivery,” she said.
“Our beautiful wee girl weighed 8lb and measured 47cm in length. When she was delivered, Donna (the midwife) took care of her and carried her back to the ward where her daddy was waiting while they finished up on me and took me to recovery.
“I hate the thought that Andrew was alone when they brought Eilidh Beth to him.
“When I eventually came to, early afternoon, they brought her to me – wrapped up tightly in towels.”
Eilidh Beth had hydrops fetalis, a serious condition that causes abnormal fluid build-up in a fetus or newborn, leading to swelling.
Around 50% of unborn babies with hydrops do not survive.
“My poor wee darling suffered so greatly and I didn’t know – which is why the ‘what ifs’ are complete torture,” Mrs Simpson continued.
“Though I didn’t get to see anything but her face, and never saw her eyes, I was overwhelmed by her beauty and how much she looked just like her big sister and brother.
“I look at Charis and Noah and can imagine how she would have looked growing up.
I have so much more to say, so many more memories to share.”
Mrs Simpson works in Oban High School, and it pains her to think that Eilidh Beth and Alex would now be students.
She said: “They tell you it gets easier. It does not.”
‘Our pledge is to ensure that no family faces this journey alone’
Anam Cara Fasgadh aims to give each family a significant experience during their stay at Poppy’s Place, whether it’s exploring Inveraray Castle, taking a boat trip to see dolphins and local wildlife, or hiking to spot sea eagles, all the while supporting local enterprises and organisations.
In addition to the support from Oban High School, Lochaber High School has also joined the effort to support the charity, with a team reaching out to local providers to create meaningful experiences in the Lochaber area, further enhancing the charity’s mission to support families during their most difficult times.
Mrs Simpson said: “The loss of a child can make time seem to stand still, and the initial shock and pain are often intense and persistent.
“Our mission is to give families who have endured the loss of a baby, child, or young person a chance to forge enduring memories by exploring local sights and taking trips in the area.
“We realise that the journey through grief after a child’s death is deeply challenging and lifelong. As a team, our pledge is to ensure that no family faces this journey alone and that they are enveloped in love and care when they come to us.”
Conversation