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Bereaved Highland father speaks out to help other dads

Michael McGuire with Kyle's memory box
Michael McGuire with Kyle's memory box

A Lochaber father has spoken about the heartache of losing a baby as bereaved families across the north prepare for a series of poignant events to remember their wee ones.

The butterfly releases at locations including Inverness, Fort William, Oban and Lochgilphead will celebrate the lives of babies who died before, during or after birth.

Michael McGuire, 33, of Caol, Fort William, and his wife Rachel, 29, lost their son Kyle when he was stillborn almost 32 weeks into her pregnancy in May 2009.

The couple now has a six-year-old daughter called Amelie, and make sure that Kyle is still an important part of their lives.

Mr McGuire said: “At the time he died, I just shut down and went into autopilot.

“I just got on with supporting my wife and arranging Kyle’s funeral.

“It’s taken me the best part of seven years to be able to speak about my feelings as 99.9% of the people discussing it on forums were women.

“I think men tend to bottle things up more, but we’re human too. We cry as well. It was our child as well.

“I’m hoping I can encourage other men that it is not a taboo subject.”

The McGuires have recently joined SiMBA – Simpson’s Memory Box Appeal – a charity that works throughout the UK to help people affected by the loss of a baby and is organising the butterfly releases.

Mr McGuire said: “We were very lucky that the hospital gave us lots of photos and we made our own memory box for Kyle.

“I want to try to raise awareness of the importance of giving people these memories so they have something to look back on.

“I think of Kyle as my angel above and Amelie as my angel on earth.”

SiMBA Highland ambassador Susan Simpson, of Oban, said 130 people took part in the first butterfly event in Inverness four years ago, when 67 live butterflies were released in memory of the children they were not able to watch grow up.

This year she has ordered 600 butterflies from a specialist breeder.

Mrs Simpson said: “SiMBA butterfly releases are poignant, beautiful acts of remembrance where families join together in mutual support and understanding as they release a butterfly to honour the baby they couldn’t take home.”

The events will be held at Glen Nevis, Fort William, and Dunollie House, Oban, on Saturday August 20, Kilmory Castle, Lochgilphead, on Sunday August 21 and the Floral Hall, Inverness, on Saturday August 27.