Hang on a minute while I put on my Mystic Meg hat and make a prediction for 2017.
(Cue spook music and quaverying voice) “I see many unfamiliar faces at your door in the coming weeks.”
To be honest, as oracles go I’m on a safe bet here.
You see, we are now just five months until the local elections which can mean only one thing.
The sitting cooncillor class will be out to bother us again, grubbing for votes to keep their jobs – and free tea and biscuits – safe for another term.
All of a sudden, they will find cars speeding around schools, broken pavements, dog dirt in parks and all manner of problems that “MUST BE FIXED NOW”.
Let’s ignore the fact they’ve had five years to fix the things they’re bleating about – because they’ll be conveniently forgetting that, too. And we should also overlook that, for the most part, we’ve not seen hide nor hair of them for the past five years.
Can you name your local councillor? I can’t and I take an interest in this stuff.
Some of our cooncillors are out the traps early to grab memorable headlines ahead of election day.
And some of them have shot themselves in the foot in spectacular style.
The case for the prosecution presents Councillor Martin Ford who has the genius, money saving idea of turning out the streetlights and telling us all to buy torches.
How green is that. Sorry, did I say green. I meant daft.
Sure, let’s plunge communities into darkness and push up sales of AA batteries.
One question occurs to me. If you can’t even keep the streetlights on, why are we giving you council tax? A lot of council tax.
Also in the “well hello” mix is Councillor Martin Greig. He decided to take a tilt at His Majesty’s panto because Alex Salmond makes a jokey, self-effacing 30-second video appearance.
“Ban him … it’s political” says this astute cooncillor – who hasn’t even seen the show.
Now that’s taking “SNP bad” to new depths – oh yes it is.
Now, let’s be fair. There are very many councillors who work hard for their communities, who do their best for people, have made a real difference and who are familiar and respected figures.
Well done them.
But some need to be asked “who are you and what have you been doing for the past five years?”
This article originally appeared on the Evening Express website. For more information, read about our new combined website.