Love or loathe the revamp of Union Terrace Gardens in Aberdeen, its £30m price tag can only be justified if local people go there, writes David Knight.
I’ve a natural aversion to sticking my head in holes.
The origins are buried in my childhood – and a sewer pipe on a building site.
So, I was nervous to see a sign in the new-look Union Terrace Gardens (UTG) in Aberdeen, tempting me to do just that.
I was staring at a mysterious stone object known as a “humming hollow” – one of several quirky oddities to keep visitors amused as they amble around the famous refurbished landmark.
I had ventured out in sub-zero weather to see for myself, after the official opening.
Some say the end result of ploughing £30 million into UTG wasn’t worth it, but it was priceless for me; humming is good for you, apparently. Lower blood pressure, less stress, and a feeling of contentment from chemically-stimulated brains which like the sound of humming.
Humming even triggers a “love hormone” – but it’s neither the time nor place, madam, thank you very much.
Good vibrations or a great waste of money?
This tall stone structure in UTG offered not one but two humming holes. I was invited to stick my head in and hum – and feel good vibrations reverberating around the inside of the structure and my body.
I didn’t fancy the higher of the two holes: it looked like someone had thrown the contents of a bowl of porridge in there. Or maybe it was worse than that. No, on second thoughts, it could have been wet residue from the stone.
The lower hole was more attractive. So, I produced a rather modest hum, but it came booming back like a didgeridoo. I felt a soothing sensation.
I think it was quite cathartic, too, because, up to that point in my meanderings, I felt slightly pessimistic about the revamped sunken gardens. But, after my humming experience, all was sweetness and light.
I felt joy towards my fellow visitors. I hailed the nearest one, who looked like me – old, flat cap, muffled up – to ask what he thought.
“Thirty million? You’re joking, not worth it,” he spat back, and marched on.
Start humming, man. My sense of wellbeing was simply soaring.
I tried another chap. “It’s like the Somme.”
He meant a huge expanse of soil in the centre, which has yet to be grassed. I thought it was more like a council football pitch, to be honest.
A canvas for exciting opportunities
But my luck changed; many more people – some old, some with young kids – liked the new UTG rather a lot. There was a recurring theme: it needed a chance to shine in its new surroundings.
I counted about 40 people there, which was amazing, as I hardly saw anyone venturing in before.
You slip into the gardens almost without noticing, because they have done such a clever job of blending the “grand staircase” at one end with the street above.
I thought I was going to be greeted by the world’s biggest and most expensive landscaped patio. But, after my conversion on the road to the humming stone, I felt a canvas had been delivered which offers a platform for exciting opportunities.
Union Terrace Gardens can’t be judged on looks alone, like a painting. It now cries out to be put to good use. All the amazing cafe areas and restored Victorian arches must be brimming with activity to make people visit.
I had one thing left to do: come back when darkness fell to check the vibes.
Hopefully anti-social behaviour won’t catch on
It was early evening and, again, I was at the top of the grand staircase. The illuminations – especially the star attraction halo suspended above – were marvellous; plenty of curious people were there again, too.
But I was irritated by a young cyclist, weaving around by the William Wallace statue – he seemed to be warming up for something. Suddenly, he launched himself off the top of the staircase into the dark abyss.
They might need to reserve one of the arches for police at this rate
He clattered down all six concrete flights without crashing off. Quite a feat, but stupid and dangerous for passers-by. I hope this doesn’t catch on.
He was being jeered way below by a mob of about 20 or 30 young teenagers, fresh from school. A similar anti-social crowd to those police had complaints about in Aberdeen city centre a while ago.
They blocked one of the main pathways (not that anyone showed any inclination of going near them). They swaggered away into a dark corner of UTG.
Suddenly, mobile phone camera lights came alive, accompanied by cheers and squeals of delight, as one boy attacked another with a flurry of vicious kicks and punches.
They might need to reserve one of the arches for police at this rate.
It was over in 20 seconds, and the mob scattered around UTG.
It dawned on me that they had regrouped and were heading my way. I wanted to get out, so made a quick exit via the Burns statue.
I tried humming as I fled.
David Knight is the long-serving former deputy editor of The Press and Journal
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