There was a “near catastrophic” high speed chase on Tuesday but that’s what I get for racing pensioners to the vegetable soup mix in Asda.
It’s always first thing to run out, presumably because a hearty broth is the smartest way to stretch a groceries budget.
Soup is also warming, which is handy now that only lottery winners and footballers feel flush enough to put on the heating.
The Sussexes said they were involved in a night-time car chase through New York City which apparently wasn’t as much fun as it sounds.
Having arrived at an awards event via a side entrance, they were snapped in all their finery at what appeared to be a Hertz cars rental shop.
A red carpet moment it was not. Perhaps it was organised by the same people who brought us the infamous 2020 press conference with former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani in the car park of a landscaping firm in Philadelphia.
Battle over pictures
The couple’s spokesperson said paparazzi engaged in “relentless pursuit” which resulted in “multiple near collisions involving other drivers, pedestrians and two NYPD officers”.
They alleged those involved broke multiple road rules, including running a red light, driving on the pavement, driving while on the phone, and illegally blocking a moving vehicle.
A typical New York night then, no wonder the traffic cops didn’t notice anything unusual.
The couple switched to a yellow cab and afterwards taxi driver Sukhcharn “Sonny” Singh said little except that he thought their description was “exaggerated”.
He probably has his own talk show by now.
Next, the American War of Independence was dragged into it after the paparazzi refused to hand over photographs.
Harry and Meghan’s lawyers wrote to a news agency saying: “We hereby demand that Backgrid immediately provide us with copies of all photos, videos, and/or films taken last night by the freelance photographers.”
You’d think a former public schoolboy would know that “hereby demanding” anything is only going to get your head pushed down a toilet.
No to royal prerogative
Backgrid said Harry couldn’t just command stuff “as Kings do” and told his lawyers to advise him “his English rules of royal prerogative to demand that the citizenry hand over their property to the Crown were rejected by this country long ago. We stand by our founding fathers.”
Wow, that just escalated faster than the user base for ChatGPT.
If you don’t know what the AI chatbot is, enjoy this moment, because by next week you’ll be reminiscing about a time when actors, poets, programmers and artists were actual human people.
Chatbot has a billion queries a day
It has an estimated 173 million users making one billion queries a day.
Watergate journalist Carl Bernstein issued a warning over the use of AI in journalism saying: “We need to know what’s real as opposed to what’s false.”
Sting said musicians face a battle “defending our human capital against AI” and actor Tom Hanks raised the alarm over “deep fake” technology.
He fears he could end up being cast in films long after his death and having tried to sit through Forrest Gump once, I can assure him, no-one wants that.
My nephew showed me what AI can do and it makes the internet look like one of those cardboard-box televisions I used to make when I was a kid.
We’re in a “use it or lose it” situation and the rise of AI is a reminder that real, live artists needs our attention and support.
Festival cancelled
It was disappointing that the Midnight Sun Weekender festival in Stornoway, featuring The Pretenders and Primal Scream, was cancelled due to poor ticket sales and infrastructure issues.
Undertones frontman Feargal Sharkey visited Boat of Garten, not to perform, but to back an environmental project on the River Spey.
Atlantic salmon depend on the waterway and wild populations have fallen by 70% in 25 years.
Pupils at North Kessock Primary put an iPhone, a Scottish fiver, a diary from lockdown and photographs of petrol cars in a time capsule at Inverness Castle.
Let’s hope they don’t look back and wish they had added a picture of an extinct Atlantic salmon and the last human still in paid employment into it.
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