Rishi has fixed inflation, Sir Keir has sorted out energy transition, and Humza has seen off his finance audit problems.
The various by-elections have passed, results are known, and we have a new battery plant coming to the UK, so we are fine for electric vehicles moving forward.
We aren’t suffering from a heatwave, the Dons have beaten Turriff and the Broch, and my golf game is in fine fettle. With the nations affairs in order, I can stand down from economic commentary and get to a topic which really matters to Aberdonians: cars and roads.
We’re looking for a second office at Katoni, and a topic which dominates the planning is parking. Working in Edinburgh for most of the formative part of my career, the idea of being able to park at work was a pipe dream. The only person who got to park at the office was “the boss”; if you were lucky (and brown-nosed enough), you might get the boss’s space if they were off.
We’re trying to encourage active travel at work – cycling or walking – but it’s hard to do that when the car is king. I’ve been known to let my mind wander to a different world; to reflect on an alternative place where our roads infrastructure can be sold as a positive, helping to get people out of the car and onto a bike or their feet.
I have previously anointed myself the Major of Aberdeen in this column and, with that power, I introduce topdressing racing to you.
I literally have no idea what topdressing – sprinkling a layer of material to an existing surface (like a road) without working it in – is all about. If someone can tell me the optimum administering, leaving and sweeping processes, I’d love to know.
Nonetheless, I want to make the north-east the topdressing capital of the world. (Bear with me.)
North-east can be sporting pioneers
There’s a genuine opportunity to make topdressed roads a sporting phenomenon. Go out today and try to run or cycle on a road with a small coating, and enjoy the experience.
The entry level for topdressing racing would be competing with just 1cm of topdressing, moving through to elite runners or cyclists at 3cm depth, with lorries involved, throwing chuckies up to create a bit of danger.
Time trials and endurance versions of the sport could exist. There’s the chance to use different types of bikes or shoes as a means of “handicapping” participants.
I also believe there is a good opportunity to create hybrid options, with tighter courses or races around small villages such as Longside, where the whole village is topdressed to a depth of 3cm.
I think there’s a chance this sport could become a big thing globally, but we can be pioneers. And, with 20mph limits around the north-east, suddenly the car becomes less attractive.
Good for the economy, good for tourism, good for our health
Obviously, topdressing racing will have to evolve with the times, and there will need to be local franchises. For the city of Aberdeen, the natural evolution is the addition of potholes to create jeopardy in sprint races. As Major, I’ll be ending pothole repairs to aid the growth of the sport in the region.
For the Shire, the use of tractors to create long tailbacks at 15mph will deliver more exciting and dangerous endurance racing. Add to this speeding Audi drivers, and you have a recipe for a thrilling series.
If you have any suggestions for improvements to this plan, The P&J letters page is probably a good starting place
Four years ago, when I started writing for The P&J, I wrote about the local love affair with the car. It is only now, as a mature mind, that I think I’ve found the right solution to bring together different stakeholders behind a common goal.
Topdressing racing can be good for the economy, good for tourism, good for our health, and help car drivers and other road users enjoy the experience of our deeply topdressed roads together.
If you have any suggestions for improvements to this plan, The P&J letters page is probably a good starting place. It is also a good place to complain about my flippancy and lack of economic commentary.
James Bream is CEO of Aberdeen-based Katoni Engineering and chair of DYW North East