David Knight: You can’t make up the nonsense Keir Starmer, Aberdeen City Council and Police Scotland all say to justify their positions

I remember having to build a den under my bed to try to revise properly for my exams.

So I don’t feel entirely sorry for Sir Keir Starmer over revelations that he accepted £20,000 of free penthouse accommodation from a wealthy backer to do the same for his son.

I don’t mean he actually created a luxury, gold-plated den of his own under a bed in this hideaway.

No, he just wanted a “peaceful place” away from the hustle and bustle of his political life during the election for the boy’s revision work.

So it was a case of the haves and have-nots again.

The privileges of those at the top of public life compared to the belt-tightening daily grind which faces the rest of us.

But it never ceases to amaze me how people with fancy titles say the daftest things to justify their existence or disguise shortcomings.

This happens not just on the national stage with Starmer’s stomach-churning perks, but also in our local communities in the Highlands and north-east over other issues causing deep unease.

As far removed as the chilling doorstep murder of banker Alistair Wilson or the latest twist in Aberdeen’s bus-gate farce.

But linked by a few words in the wrong place from powerful people who can easily inflame already fraught situations.

I remember my bizarre exam revision scenario quite well; in the middle of preparing for the same tests as Starmer’s son.

We lived in a small council house in a noisy street and my boisterous younger twin brothers didn’t make it any easier.

So I came up with the novel idea of creating a quiet den under my single bed.

I even blocked off the sides underneath with boxes to muffle distracting noises from around the house and outside on the street.

I crawled in.

I needed a torch to read my huge physics textbook under there, but quickly found that my neck ached and I could hardly breathe in this confined space.

I failed my physics exam abysmally.

It might have been something to do with Einstein’s theory of relativity as my energy drained away in my little universe under the bed, but I’ll never know.

Families all over the north-east will know only too well the angst of supporting their teenagers through exams.

But they don’t enjoy the prime minister’s privileges and perks.

Ordinary working people have to make do

Ordinary working people have to make do while their youngsters attempt to rise above the mire without a silver spoon to clear the way.

I don’t know if Starmer junior was studying music among his subjects, but his dad delivered his usual tone-deaf performance when responding to inevitable public criticism.

It felt wrong and looked wrong, so therefore it was undoubtedly wrong. We don’t need the laws of physics to tell us that.

He was merely inflaming the situation with a poor ill-advised choice of words.

They say actions speak louder than words, but words destroy bad actions in a flash.

It happens all the time.

Recently, embattled council officials were trying to justify Aberdeen’s disastrous new bus gates, which have infuriated and frightened businesses facing ruin amid a perception the city is closed for trade.

In trotting out the usual feeble and hollow excuses, a top planner claimed that a u-turn at this stage – to go back to the previous traffic system – would “annoy” drivers.

You can’t make this up

You can’t make this stuff up.

If my dog had a boil on her backside I wouldn’t say, “Let’s not treat it, she might be annoyed.”

On a similar theme of clumsy wording, but in a totally different deadly and shocking criminal scenario, we could look at the extraordinary murder case which engulfed the Wilson family in Nairn.

Alistair was shot on his own doorstep two decades ago, but it remains unsolved.

The case has been reopened by Police Scotland, but they face fierce recriminations from his family questioning police “incompetence” over the investigation.

Chief Constable Jo Farrell tried pouring oil on troubled waters, but her credibility with relatives sank without trace after apparently announcing a new senior officer was on the case when, in fact, the investigator was still on holiday.

The file was merely on a desk awaiting the officer’s return, I suppose.

Some might argue it was an unfortunate embellishment, but only splitting hairs perhaps?

How many times have we heard ministers say they were looking urgently into something when we know they’re buying time and it’s somewhat further down their priority list?

But clarity and accuracy of words matter when people are poring over every detail to seek reassurance and trust.

What’s a few weeks here and there, some might ask?

But it matters in this case where relatives have been looking for answers not for weeks, but a lost 20 years – and every day is agony.

David Knight is the long-serving former deputy editor of The Press and Journal