I’ve come up with a perfect plan to deliver without further ado the long-awaited A9 and A96 upgrades from Inverness to Aberdeen and Perth.
With none of the sickening political dilly-dallying which has plagued the project and taken the public for fools for so long.
One of the earliest governments in the SNP dynasty created by the late Alex Salmond started the ball rolling towards complete dualling.
But it was so long ago most people have forgotten when that was.
This particular bus has been parked in a deserted layby ever since – with Highlands and north-east communities treated like second-class passengers.
People have died on these roads, which have a long and grim crash record, while we’ve waited patiently – yet possibly somewhat naively – for the improvements.
Many have felt for a while that they will never happen due to wearisome prevarication and crafty political roadblocks thrown in the way.
Others hoping for change must have passed away from old age by now.
But the “Knight Plan” (as I’ll call it, modestly) offers a quick fix for the A96.
We’d have to roll it out in two phases if you don’t mind.
The first would involve a massive appeal for cash from the public.
The second would involve paying it into an SNP bank account.
To “fast-track” the roads upgrade project to VIP top-priority “we’ll deliver tomorrow by 1pm” status.
Why not?
Something vaguely similar has happened with an energy company’s plans for a floating windfarm off the north-east coast.
Its operating licence went through after SNP Westminster leader Stephen Flynn intervened; he helpfully opened doors and oiled a few wheels with the Scottish Government.
And – hey presto – this was followed by a £30,000 donation paid by the firm’s boss – who has close SNP connections – into a party bank account in Mr Flynn’s Aberdeen South constituency.
A tasty little thank you, it would seem.
They need it as Mr Flynn could be easily dumped in Aberdeen South if there is any tactical voting.
There are serious issues to be discussed here
Obviously, in the case of the A9/96 together we would have to raise the ante.
Maybe 20 times that amount – let’s say a nice round random figure of £600,000?
Yes, I know I’m on the road to nowhere with my surreal imaginings – just like those abandoned communities campaigning over the A96 and A9.
But there are serious issues to be discussed here.
Suddenly, the SNP drove into its very own party donations pothole.
Okay, it’s not the nose-in-trough antics of Reeves and Mortimer (sorry, I meant Reeves and Starmer) with their free clothes and tickets.
Party political donations are fine, according to John Swinney.
I can’t argue with people wanting to support parties financially within the rules.
But for some reason, this didn’t look good.
It told us that some can secure preferential treatment over the rest of us mere mortals if they possess enough clout and cash.
What next – cash for quicker cancer operations?
Swinney brushed away any suggestion of Flynn flim-flam over this curious episode.
“Swinney Speak” often sounds plausible.
But about as convincing as a second-hand car salesman saying a vehicle is sound apart from the fact that its engine is missing.
Salmond had deep regrets he didn’t see A9 dualling project through
So this party donation was supposedly okay; it’s just the apparent leverage revealed subsequently which didn’t sit comfortably.
A slap in the face to ordinary people begging in vain for the Scottish Government to prioritise something – and actually mean it for once.
It was clear as he gave evidence at an inquiry into the A9 road scandal a few months ago that Salmond had deep regrets over not seeing the project through himself.
But with his trademark bravado or swagger – call it what you will – he couldn’t resist suggesting that if he was still in charge it would have been done by now.
I think he might have been right.
Allowing independence to slip through his grasp was probably his biggest regret, but on a local level, the road failure would be close behind.
This was because he lived in the north-east and among exactly the sort of community affected by these frustrating transport issues whereas his myopic lightweight successors couldn’t see past Edinburgh.
In May he said it was “a matter of honour and integrity” to complete the dualling.
His words are a legacy which magnifies how the Scottish Government has treated Highland and Grampian communities disgracefully over this failure.
I recall writing years ago before devolution about Westminster’s shocking attitude towards transport issues in the north of Scotland, but the focus is now firmly on Holyrood’s dismal record spanning two decades.
Sorry to raise your hopes, but you saw through me straight away.
Just as quickly as spotting feeble Scottish Government excuses as it continues to duck, dive and treat voters in the P&J area with contempt.
David Knight is the long-serving former deputy editor of The Press and Journal
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