I don’t know about you, but Black Friday turned into a grey day for me as I discovered more shocks than bargains.
I’d set my heart on a fancy pair of shoes.
Slip-ons in what they called a basket weave: like you see on linen baskets or small waste paper bins, but in “Italian leather” don’t you know.
They were a little flash, but right up my street; great for holidays in the sun, I thought.
There would have to be sun because I’d get trench foot in a week if I wore them in wintry Aberdeen.
A weave style meant there were lots of holes and gaps for rainwater or slush to flow in.
The cunning sales people started tempting me as soon as they detected my fingerprint browsing online.
They began by offering me a 10 per cent discount during the run-up, then 20 per cent on Black Friday itself.
I could bear it no longer and I was checking the three digits on the back of my bank card as fast as I could.
Alas, it was not to be.
As I pressed the size-9 box to order, “sold out” came back at me.
Typically for me, I refused to accept this as a plausible answer.
Eventually, their customer service people came back and explained I had found something “seasonal” which was not really on sale at all at this time of year.
Still unconvinced, I argued that “seasonal” didn’t exist because people now flew away to the sun throughout the year.
A bit weak, I admit.
They guessed correctly I was a trouble-maker and ignored me from then on; don’t these shoe people have any soul?
SNP A96 dualling deadline will be missed
I was gazing at my mobile in disgust when something far more bleak and much less funny flashed up on my P&J online subscription.
I don’t know what size shoes Scottish Transport Secretary Fiona Hyslop wears, but they must be at least size 10s.
Due to the fact that she’s trampling all over north and north-east communities begging in vain for the disgracefully overdue A96 Inverness-Aberdeen dualling upgrade.
A deadline for completion in five years will be missed, she confirmed; an excruciating four-year review regarded as a blatant stalling tactic would go out for “consultation” next year (salt rubbed into the wounds).
It was sadly ironic that Hyslop was trotting out the old lame excuses just before the memorial service for former leader Alex Salmond.
A man whose boots no successive leader or minister has come close to filling on a political level.
He famously said a few months before his death that major roads projects in our region must be completed “as a matter of honour”.
Yet many years have slipped by as this farcical governmental prevarication festered on.
So long that some children born at the time are now almost old enough to take driving lessons.
Mediaeval political strategist Machiavelli, who wrote that artful leaders could promise everything to everyone without actually delivering anything, would have been impressed.
The dismal news about further delays came as no surprise to many who suspected the SNP Government would use any tactic at its disposal to avoid delivering the project.
The issue might not matter to MSPs with comfortable travel links into Edinburgh, but it does to communities along the A96 corridor.
Review suggests watered down project to give ministers an easy out
Now that the review has suggested a watered-down project, with a by-pass here and there along the way, Scottish Government ministers have their escape route mapped out.
Campaigners might be faced with a stark reality of swallowing an “ersatz” concoction, to borrow a German wartime word for poor substitute.
The by-pass option might appeal, but I hate to mention that it took Aberdeen 60 years to get one.
It’s not surprising that the P&J is polling readers for their views; it’ll be a record of public opinion which cannot be brushed aside.
The political implications are significant.
Call me a cynic, but the timing of the Scottish Government’s resurrection of winter fuel payments coincides perfectly with the run-up to the next Holyrood elections; a potential SNP blow to Labour’s ambitions for a clean sweep of triumphant new MSPs.
But the A96 debacle will also stick to the SNP.
If any SNP bigwigs get dumped, they might find useful alternative employment in Black Friday sales – where promises don’t always match reality.
Fury was a word used by campaigners to describe community reaction to the Scottish Government’s A96 machinations.
Other words – like treachery and betrayal – have often been used to great effect by leading SNP figures to point out grievances with Westminster over the years.
So much so that I wondered if they had copyrighted these words unofficially by now.
But the enormity of potential Holyrood betrayal over the A96 upgrade will match anything which has gone before.
David Knight is the long-serving former deputy editor of The Press and Journal
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