Ron Cluny, official council spokesman
Sometimes it seems any decision made by our city’s dedicated public servants will inevitably come under fire from some malcontent or other.
Sometimes you can’t help feeling whatever they do, however well intentioned, my paymasters always end up getting a good kicking in the media.
And so it was this week when what should have been an innocuous and, importantly, unreported meeting of the Shindigs and Hoolies Committee attracted the adverse attention of Kirsty Blackman, MP of Aberdeen North.
She put the boot in to our esteemed lord provost for nothing more than using his God-given casting vote to approve a grand civic dinner to mark the 700th anniversary of the signing of the Stocket Charter, and the creation of the common good fund.
This, Kirsty churlishly opines, misses the point of the fund; but what better way to acknowledge the establishment of an endowment entrusted to the city fathers and intended to benefit all than a massive free feed that’ll blow a decent chunk of it?
Apparently, Ms Blackman’s beef is that the event “excludes ordinary citizens”.
Well, I’m happy to confirm there will be a good number of council members there, and some of them are as ordinary as you get.
And don’t get the wrong end of the stick, they are not the only ones who’ll be invited. There will also be a wide cross-section of common-or-garden, ilka-day business leaders, oil and gas consultants, local MPs, members of the Chamber of Commerce, pals, family members and hingers-on of every description, all representing you at the free bar.
Miss Blackman’s other gripe is that this would be a “very transitory” event “of no lasting benefit” to anyone.
Well, show me the lash-up that isn’t!
We’ve all woken up bleary-eyed with a mouth like the bottom of a budgie cage after a night of carousing.
But you wouldn’t want to do it every day. Imagine the full council decisions we’d get.
Anyway, this is not some debauched bacchanal; it’s to be a dignified civic event. And we can have the karaoke a bit later on.
If Denis Law’s freedom do is anything to go by it’ll depend on how many long vodkas Jenny Laing has had. Who will forget Marie Boulton’s rendition of Going Underground, or Willie Young’s Big Spender.
In the words of Barney himself, the event has been planned “in a way that echoes our past”. We are merely following in that grand old tradition of your city council; spending a great wodge of the common good fund on a slap-up feed. In Aberdeen, you don’t get any more traditional than that.
Tanya Soutar, local lifestyle guru
I dinna ken about yous, but I’m ayewiz planning my dream wedding. The trouble is, it’s difficult tae find the perfect venue withoot a second mortgage or selling een o’ yer kidneys on the black market. But last Saturday a local couple came up wi’ something that wis baith romantic and economically viable.
I’m spikking about yon pair that got merried in the branch o’ Starbucks at Holburn Junction far they first met.
Een o’ my pals wis there, and she said it wis magic. She says the best bit was that naeb’dy lost track o’ fit drink wis fa’s, because they a’ hid their names written on the side o’ them.
Mind you, she said it was a pest fan ye hid tae ask for a key fan ye needed the lavvy.
But this got me thinking. Could me and ony o’ the three lads I’m currently seeing follow in that couple’s footsteps if we iver tied the knot?
Nae a Starbucks, obviously – we widna ging onywye as funcy as ’at – but fit wid it be like tae get merried in the place far ye first met yer unintended?
Well, Jason and me is on a hiding tae nothing. We met in Peep Peeps, which is noo shut; a shame because it would hiv made a lovely venue. Fit a nicht ’at wis! I wis on a hen shine. In fact, if I mind right it wis een o’ mines.
If me and Dean get hitched at the spot o’ wir first meeting, we wid hae tae choose oor date wisely for a very romantic alfresco wedding ceremony, by the benches outside Soul Bar.
So I think my best bet is wi’ Darren, because we met in a very weel appointed public building w’ loads of seating and the right kind o’ solemn atmosphere – Aiberdeen Sheriff Court, far he wis being tried for hoose-breaking and I was on the jury (he wis guilty, but fit a hunk).
By the end o’ three days of evidence it wis clear he’d stole my hairt (as weel as a laptop, some jewellery and a set o’ golf clubs).
I think I’ll book a date for twa years’ time fan he gets oot. Peer lad, I hope he disnae mind being back in court so soon efter his release. Mind you, it widnae be the first time!