Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

Moreen Simpson: Scorching sun for the Aberdeen Trades was a turn-up for the books

Young and old enjoy the sun at Aberdeen Beach during the 1973 Trades Fortnight
Young and old enjoy the sun at Aberdeen Beach during the 1973 Trades Fortnight

This year’s Aberdeen Trades Fortnight must have been a record-breaker.

I’d thought the traditional holiday during the second two weeks in July had almost died out.

In its heyday, when thousands of workers got the same time off, the beach and parks would be heavin’. There’d be more Doric-spik on the Costas than onything remotely Spanish: “Gees a poke a’ chips and a bottle o’ Sammygill.”

Usually we joke Trades is the wettest two weeks of the year. This time, it was the bestest

But I’m delighted to say The Trades is still kneipin’ on in many smaller companies.

The bide-at-hames who, because of Covid, must have been in the vast majority this year, were blessed with an almost non-stop series of scorchers. Usually we joke Trades is the wettest two weeks of the year. This time, it was the bestest.

Oh, the joy of de-stressing in the sun without the threat of black clouds; no-hassle barbecues or buffets in the garden. Under a parasol to cool off or taes dunked in the kids’ paddling pool. The wonderful sound of hysterically giggly children (sorry neighbours). What more could an al’ body want?

A perfect, stress-free Trades summer day

So it came to pass last week, after I’d refereed a game of football between the toots and their parents with their birthday goalposts, everyone was plootered. The back of 7pm, tired but affa happy, I headed into the hoose to start shooshin’ them hameski. I love ‘em, to bits – but enough is enough. Except… un probleme avec les French doors. They wouldna open. Locked? Impossible!

This was the first time in the 17 years I’d been in my hoosie the French window had locked from the outside

Regular readers know I’m adept at getting locked oot. Either I’ve forgotten my key or because of that dodgy front door lock, which froze me oot whenever it fancied.

To my aid have come emergency (and affa pricey) locksmiths, and latterly my hugely talented neighbour, who can remove a glass panel from my side door with suspicious skill. However, this was the first time in the 17 years I’d been in my hoosie the French window had locked from the outside.

A speedy and, yes, accusatory, investigation revealed my son-in-law had, mystifyingly, lifted the outside handle before closing it. Hey presto, a’body shut-ootski. My quine’s keys to the front door? At the front door, inside. My housebreaking neighbour? In Benidorm, sod him.

Aberdeen beach was no doubt bustling during the super sunny Trades Fortnight

Languidly, my quine moaned we’d have to wait until her brother came in from his place in Culter with the only other spare key. Not-so-languidly, I broke the news he was on a short break – in Aberlour, 60 flaming miles hence. Panic, panic, panic. Fit tae dee?

Daddy spotted the wee slat at the top of my bathroom window was open. Could maybe my so-slender granddaughter sidle through, with a humph-up from him? She tried. She failed. She was obviously a bittie feart.

Dad suggested her wee bro have a go; three years younger, so littler. He was game, but changed his mind half-way up.

Visions of mannies breaking doon doors, when my determined granddaughter stood up to the mark once more. Dad hoiked her up, she slinked over and through. Those gymnastics lessons haven’t half paid off! My heroine opened up and released us.

The end of a perfect, stress-free Trades summer day.


Read more by Moreen Simpson: