My heart goes out to the millions of Britons hit by unpalatable suffering in the past week. I feel your pain.
It cannot be easy coming to terms with the loss of McDonald’s milkshakes, nor a chicken shortage at Nando’s. The sight of people, mainly young, shriveled up and rocking back and forwards outside restaurants owned by those companies has been disturbing. It is as unthinkable as Pittodrie without its pies or Cullen minus the skink.
“It’s horrible,” said a girl with long nails and large lips as she cried outside one of McDonald’s Aberdeen eateries, “I couldn’t even buy a bottle of something fizzy. They’re out of them as well. I just canna function properly.”
According to the British Meat Processors Association, pigs in blankets could be in short supply this Christmas
I offered comforting words along the lines of improvements would come when the supply chain problems were fixed and HGV drivers recruited. There was bad news, though. According to the British Meat Processors Association, pigs in blankets could be in short supply this Christmas.
She wiped away the black stuff that had made several tracks down her cheeks and said: “Fit are you on aboot?”
Will we have to turn to the spicy chicken black market?
There were similar scenes outside Nando’s, who have had to shut 50 of their restaurants because of a shortage of chicken. Suppliers can’t get the staff, they say, and I assume that a decrease in lorry driver numbers must equate to quite a lot of dead hens sitting – or maybe hanging – around in giant fridges somewhere waiting to be delivered.
Alas, KFC is in the same boat (or should that be carton?) and have announced they are unable to stock some menu items.
History tells us that shortages normally push prices up. So, we could, for example, see a Mighty Bucket for One at £6.49 go for considerably more on the spicy chicken black market.
Still, we can be confident the Scottish Government will produce a solution. After all, their announcement that they will spend £1 billion – where is all this money coming from? – to address the NHS backlog created by Covid is like having a reassuring nurse at your bedside, patting your forehead and telling you: “We’re going to make you better.”
The promise was made by the first minister, who told us she wanted the health service to be stronger than ever. Before hopes rise, however, she covered her back by proclaiming that the extent of the Covid-related backlog was unknown. In other words, she hasn’t the foggiest when it will be cleared.
Meanwhile, not a word about counselling for the milkshake addicts.
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This article originally appeared on the Evening Express website. For more information, read about our new combined website.