When the Holyrood inquiry committee delivered its findings on the Salmond-Sturgeon clash, nobody paid attention.
After all, the previous day James Hamilton QC declared the first minister didn’t mislead parliament.
His was the decision that stuck, and the searching questioning of Nicola Sturgeon by the SNP members of the committee – “what’s your favourite colour?” and “Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?” – was all for nothing.
The issue now is: Has it damaged the first minister and a government with a catalogue of catastrophes on its CV?
NHS Scotland under Jeane Freeman and her predecessor as health secretary, Shona Robison, has lurched from one crisis to another.
The Royal Hospital for Children and Young People in Edinburgh is a prime example of that department’s incompetence.
The hospital lay empty for more than a year because of an air conditioning fault and, while the project was supposed to cost £150 million, taxpayers’ money continued to pour into it for a range of everyday costs which means we’ll have to pay out around £520m over the next 25 years.
And remember the promises from education secretary John Swinney?
Smaller classes; a closing of the attainment gap? Neither pledge was delivered.
Meanwhile, school students are still reeling from last year’s exam results fiasco, prompting one parent to say we have “an education system in a state of shock and paralysis”.
We’ve had BiFab, loaned £52m by the Scottish government before entering administration, as well as the money squandered on the two CalMac ferries, a £97m going-on £200m deal now almost five years overdue.
That contract, you may recall, was brokered by the then finance secretary Derek Mackay, who has now quit the SNP more than a year after it was revealed he sent hundreds of texts to a teenage boy which forced him out of the cabinet.
He remained an MSP, however, picking up a juicy salary without actually attending Holyrood. He left this week with a fistful of dollars and a smile on his face.
Based on the Holyrood inquiry’s accusation that Ms Sturgeon did mislead the parliament, the Conservatives at Holyrood called for a vote of no confidence in her.
It was bound to fail because the SNP enjoy the support of that other independence party, the Greens, whose names are largely unknown outside their own group.
Yet, despite Scottish Labour and the Lib Dems also having zero confidence in Sturgeon and Co, they sat on their hands and abstained as if they didn’t have an opinion.
Forget about the shenanigans over the Salmond inquiry and how it wounded his successor, shouldn’t a no confidence motion have been proposed based on the Scottish Government’s appalling record?
Ring, ring! Why won’t cyclists fork out for a bell?
In recent weeks I have taken to daily hour-long walks, most of which have been potential ambles towards A&E.
The mountain biking community on the old Deeside railway line and on the wooded walk around Hazlehead golf course in Aberdeen appear to believe people on foot have eyes in the backs of their heads.
So, dear biker, when you fork-out for your next Vitus Nucleus VR (2021) – a snip at £600 – or a Marin Rift Zone 29 1, at £1,565, ask the dealership to stick a bell on your handlebars.
That way, when you hurtle towards walkers at 15mph and hope they won’t step into your path, you can warn them you’re on your way in your funny hat and fetching lycra top, determined not to apply your brakes.
I have no wish to have the mark of a Magic Mary Performance MTB – that’s a mountain bike tyre, if you’re interested – up my back.
Bells start at 84p but, given they look like the one I had on my Raleigh sometime in the last century, they’re not cool enough for the rough riders of Hazlehead.
I’d therefore suggest they opt for the moderately priced electric bike horn at £6.27.
It comes in various colours which you can match with your natty cycling shorts.
Arresting series spoiled by acronyms
Trying to remember previous storylines from Line of Duty meant I missed much of the dialogue when the hit TV series returned.
It was, as usual, loaded with more acronyms than a powerpoint presentation from a petroleum engineer.
I was still figuring out what a CHIS was by the time I noticed Martin Compston (DS Steve Arnott) now had a heap of fluff on his face.
He and fellow Scots in the cast – DCI Davidson (Kelly Macdonald) and PC Farida Jatri (Anneika Rose) – could have revealed a CHIS (Covert Human Intelligence Source) was simply a CLYPE.
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