Henceforth, I have decided I will drive at 80mph to help me get around the north-east that bit faster.
Yes, I know that’s illegal, however, I will only be breaking the law in a very specific and limited way. It’s just a small matter of going 10mph faster than the speed limit when it suits me.
Also, I have decided in future when shopping for Pringles, if there isn’t a half-price offer on, I will pay for one tube, but put another one in my bag and sneak it out the shop.
Yes, that is also breaking the law, but only when I have a very specific need for snacks and limited to stealing just the one tube. I’ll make sure they are both the same flavour, just to be honest about my dishonesty.
I could go on ad nauseam about all the laws I might ignore because I think they are inconvenient but, let’s face it, the idea is ridiculous.
Unless, that is, you are a Tory in power at Westminster. Then you can quite happily tool up to break international law and justify it in a manner that makes Orwelian Doublespeak look like plain English.
There’s Johnson and his grisly gang of inepts putting up a Bill to unilaterally rewrite an international treaty they not only signed, but hailed as a great achievement for Brexit.
All those warnings that it will jeopardise the Good Friday agreement, break up the United Kingdom, tarnish Britain’s good name and leave it as a rogue state no other country in the world can trust? Piffle, say the toffs.
Into that mix goes some rather remarkable statements. Westminster health secretary Matt Hancock says he is “comfortable” with breaking the law. That’s fine then.
But don’t worry, Robert Buckland says he will resign as justice secretary if the government breaks the law in a way he finds unacceptable.
Let’s see if I have this straight. The Westminster politician in charge of justice thinks there are acceptable ways to break the law? Doesn’t that just underline the mindset of the Tories? They believe they are above the law. The arrogance, entitlement and sense of exceptionalism these lunatics are showing is as staggering as it is terrifying.
If they do this, it means they are capable of doing anything in blind pursuit of their right-wing ideology.
All those laws that protect our rights from our working lives to our civil liberties are an inconvenience the mad Tories might be comfortable with breaking in a very specific and limited way if it furthers their agenda.
Far fetched and alarmist? Two weeks ago, so was the idea that the UK would break international law and become a global pariah. Time to start looking for an escape route from this circus of barking dogs.
Protect Scotland by downloading app
Nestling among the many apps on my phone is one that I hope to never use.
Protect Scotland is the test and protect app that will alert me if I have been in close contact with someone who is Covid-19 positive.
I don’t ever want that message but, if I do, I will self-isolate, get tested and use the app to warn others. It’s a vital tool in saving lives. The more who have it, the better it works. Download it now and do your bit to Protect Scotland.
Shame on BBC for Covid briefings cull
All the signs are pointing to Covid ramping up for a second deadly onslaught.
With cases rising and fears growing, we need to hear wise counsel and calm words.
In Scotland, we are fortunate to be given clear-eyed daily briefings by our nation’s First Minister. No sugar-coating, no faffing, just the facts. Decisions are explained so we all know where we stand and why.
What does the BBC, our national broadcasting service, decide to do at this crucial point? Cancel live coverage of the very briefings so many find so reassuring. The elderly, who cannot get online, the hearing impaired who depend on signing, the rest of us who made a habit of turning on the telly at 12.30pm each day to be kept up to date. We can watch Bargain Hunt instead.
Why was this done? You need only look at the people crowing over their “victory” – Tory politicians and Labour peers.
The loser is the BBC. The Scottish fig leaf is gone and we can see it truly is a state broadcasting service – for another state.
This article originally appeared on the Evening Express website. For more information, read about our new combined website.