Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

Moreen Simpson: Hypocritical MP couldn’t boil a tattie, let alone his heid

Washing and tumble-drying by moonlight has become routine for Moreen. Illustration by Helen Hepburn
Washing and tumble-drying by moonlight has become routine for Moreen. Illustration by Helen Hepburn

The cost of living crisis gets ever more scary.

This week the Bank of England governor ratcheted up the pressure, warning we face “apocalyptic” rises in the future.

It’s enough of a frightener for most of us having to think about juggling our finances. But, for those already struggling to make ends meet on a limited budget – like parents on minimum wages and old folk on the basic pension – it must be downright terrifying.

My heart breaks to think of the sacrifices they’re having to make. And it’s scandalous that neither the UK nor Scottish governments have the wit – nor the conscience – to come up with any help for them.

That’s also why the words of that ghastly Tory MP Lee Anderson in the Commons last week were so shocking. This heartless sod attacked those using food banks by claiming their only problem was that they couldn’t cook, proudly announcing a homemade meal could cost only 30p.

Earth to Anderson? I suspect this hypocrite couldn’t boil a tattie, let alone his heid. Mrs A, you have the nation’s pity.

Energy bills are already off the scale

Energy bills are already aff the scale. As I’ve said before, by lucky accident I opted for a two-year fixed tariff, so my costs won’t change until February. However, I’m ca’in’ canny, using my overnight (11.30pm to 7.30am) low-rate electricity as much as poss, like running the dishwasher and tumble dryer in the dead of night.

Fortunately, they don’t make enough noise to worry the neighbours. (I hope!)

Smart meters are intended to help households to monitor their energy usage and save money (Photo: Vitalij Terescsuk/Shutterstock)

Meanwhile, I’m bombarded with calls and texts to get a smart meter. I kept ignoring them, until a particularly persuasive gadgie won me over. I signed up for one, got a date, was advised to make sure there was easy access to meters.

Good shout because, until my son-in-law’s efforts last Wednesday, the smart installer’s only access to my gas meter in the garage would have been swooping, like Tarzan, on a rope.

A very smart smart meter mannie

The smartie came Thurday afternoon. Needed to cut off electrics and gas. Me in the middle of slow-cooked lamb! Don’t think so.

He kindly offered to go to a nearby appointment, then back to me, explaining the work would take about two hours. Fit a faff. I was rapidly gan aff the hale idea.

Some appliances use more electricity than others (Photo: Rozhnovskaya Tanya/Shutterstock)

Before he left for the other hoosie, he’d just check my electricity meter. “Ah,” sez the loon with an ominous doonturn – like I’ve heard so many times from mannies (trades!) hitting a problem in my hoosie ower the years.

Here’s him: “I didnae ken you had day and night meters. We only give you one. A second is a bigger job altogether.” Sez me to him, what I always ask in a such a dilemma: “If it were your hoose, would you get rid of the two rates?” He paused, then: “Definitely not.”

Now, that’s what I call a smart meter mannie.


Moreen Simpson is a former assistant editor of The Press & Journal and started her journalism career in 1970

Conversation