The possibility of a general strike seemed to nudge a little nearer with news that even our marine life has been staging a walkout.
On Thursday a seal pup had to be rescued after “bopping” out of Stonehaven harbour and making his way along the High Street (The P&J, Dec 7).
He is reported as saying he wanted to “do things differently” after discovering “a whole new world of possibilities”.
No, wait a minute, that was Matt Hancock.
It would appear that making an absolute spectacle of himself has paid off, earning him celebrity status with a career in showbusiness now one of several options open to him.
The seal I mean, not Matt Hancock.
Proving that life is stranger than fiction, the former health secretary has created a storyline similar to that of Andy in The Office by quitting his day job after getting a whiff of greasepaint and other unmentionables on a TV reality show.
Fans of the Netflix comedy series will know that Andy ends up making industrial safety videos and appearing on an a-cappella version of the X Factor; meanwhile Hancock is being tipped to be a Good Morning Britain host.
I wouldn’t watch any of those if you paid me, although I suppose if the money was right I might be able to sit through an hour of emergency first aid techniques.
Netflix crashed on Thursday with the launch of Harry and Meghan’s documentary series which caused controversy before it even aired.
Its trailers sparked criticism for allegedly using images from a Harry Potter premiere and a Katie Price court appearance to illustrate press intrusion.
Perhaps the programme-makers simply couldn’t be bothered to find footage of the Sussexes being pursued by paparazzi and were in “Goblin mode”, which was unveiled as the Oxford English Dictionary’s Word of 2022 to describe laziness.
Fashion royalty Coco Chanel resided at Rosehall House near Lairg in the late 1920s and items from her Highland estate are going up for auction (The P&J, Dec 6).
Among them is an ornate wardrobe, built in 1926, the year that she invented the little black dress, and has a guide price of between £10,000 and £12,000.
Talking of antiques, the oldest living land animal continued to make headlines around the world after his birthday on Sunday – and no, it wasn’t Joe Biden, even though he probably aged another 10 years during his high-stakes prisoner swap with Russia.
Johnathan, the Seychelles giant tortoise who has lived on Saint Helena since 1882, marked his 190th birthday with three days of celebrations.
The King
Jonathan features on stamps and coinage, an honour he shares with King Charles, who appears on five million 50p pieces that entered circulation on Thursday.
Charles probably wishes he also had a massive giant shell like Johnathan’s that he can hide under as Meghan and Harry fire more salvos in his direction.
I’m not sure if His Majesty would put Aberdeen’s former John Lewis store in the “monstrous carbuncle” category, but it is an unusual building, built in 1966 as a ‘modernist showpiece’.
It was exciting to see the eye-catching ideas released as part of a mini masterplan of what could be done with the landmark (The P&J, Dec 8).
One drawing shows the creation of an atrium, another shows a wall replaced with glass and there is also the suggestion of a new park, ‘Greyfriars Square’.
Closer to Red Square, President Putin held a video conference with comrades that was vaguely reminiscent of the chaotic Handforth Council Zoom call which became an internet sensation during lockdown, although to be fair that one didn’t mention nuclear weapons.
I half expected someone to shout out “You have no authority here Jackie Weaver!” as Putin told a bunch of miserable-looking faces peering into their laptop cameras: “We haven’t gone crazy.”
Good to know, Vlad, because not to be pedantic, but all evidence points to the contrary.
Person of the Year
So not crazy then, but Putin will surely be hopping mad when he sees President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and The Spirit of Ukraine is Time magazine’s Person of the Year.
He can commiserate with fellow former winner Donald Trump, who is likely to throw his hairspray out of the pram when he finds out his arch nemesis, Florida governor Ron DeSantis, made the shortlist.
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