The latest topical insights from Aberdeen musical sketch comedy team, The Flying Pigs, written by Moray Barber, Andrew Brebner and Simon Fogiel
With a land war in Europe, three prime ministers and a state funeral, 2022 wasn’t a great year for fans of peace and quiet. We asked some of our regular contributors to pick their standouts from a turbulent year.
J Fergus Lamont, arts critic
There was a cornucopia of cultural highlights in Aberdeen’s 2022. However, there can be only one artist in pole position. Whether it was the Union Street Traffic Deconstruction art installation, or the mysterious “Portrait of Barney Crockett” (truly a Dorian Gray for our times!), the artistic heroes of the year are very definitely the situationist collective, “Aberdeen City Council”.
Just when one thinks one has seen it all, they produce another blinder which leaves one speechless with admiration. They even managed a final “happening” in the dying embers of the year.
The heartbreaking “Nativity Scene in an empty shop window” – both a timely comment on the faith/consumerism dichotomy with which we all wrestle at this time of year, and also a powerful depiction of the way in which deeper meaning can seem within reach but, yet, be unobtainable, trapped behind the glass of a disused shoe shop. I wept.
Tanya Souter, lifestyle guru
I da ken about youse, but I hiv deen a lot o cogitating lately. At’s my ain fault for eating a hale tub o’ Quality Street.
However, I hiv decided my highlight ‘o the year has tae be Will Smith at the Oscars. Mind that? Fan he gied the Chris Rock a smack on Iive TV? At wiz magic, ‘at.
Apparently it wiz cos Chris had made a joke about Will’s wife’s alpaca. Some folk is right touchy aboot their pets, is they?
Jock Alexander of MTV (Meiklewartle Television)
I hiv watched an affa lot o’ telly this year files stuck oot in the sticks wi’ a combination o’ lockdoon and nesty weather, but, efter watching him on the box o’er Christmas, I hiv decided that my highlight o’ the year wiz watching the new King Charles back in September, getting in a stushy fan his pen stairted leaking.
King Charles motions for an aide to remove his pen box pic.twitter.com/xNObl9MA3R
— Jon Levine (@LevineJonathan) September 10, 2022
Fair play tae him, it’s nae an easy implement tae use for a mannie wi sausage fingers like his, fit eyewiz mak Skittery Wullie start salivating. But it wiz a moment o’ humanity and relatability, and it wiz fine tae see he wiz as prone tae get as exasperated aboot modren innoflations nae working properly as fit I dae. I dare say I’d hae jist as much trouble masel, if fountain pens iver reach Meikle Wartle.
Cheerio and a GUID NEW YEAR tae ab’dy!
Cava Kenny Cordiner, the football pundit who always has one eye on the future
As 2022 draws to a close, Old Kenny is casting his retrospeculative eye on the year what is soon going to be the year what was. We had a winter World Cup, another new gaffer at Pittodrie and, of course, said goodbye to Pelé, the greatest GOAT of all time.
With any luck, it might mean that, whenever England is on the TV in the future, we hear about something other than 1966
But, there’s not no doubting my top sporting moment of 2022. I was liberally busting with pride when the Lionessesses won the Euros in the summer, putting British soccer back on the map.
And, with any luck, it might mean that, whenever England is on the TV in the future, we hear about something other than 1966. Fingers crossed!
Jonathan M Lewis, local headteacher
It’s been a transformative year at Garioch Academy.
We started the year longing for a return to normality. For pupils and teachers to be able to ditch the face coverings and look one another in the eye, as two humans on the same joyful journey towards education and growth.
And, now, as the year ends and normality has resumed, pupils and teachers alike are sick of the sight of each other. Praise be!
Struan Metcalfe, MP for Aberdeenshire North and surrounding Nether Regions
For me, 2022 has been a year of adding value, a year of building, and a year of opportunities.
So many of my colleagues in the government resigned or got the shove that I’ve ended up with a job in the Department of Trade. Lacks! It’s jolly important, but (whisper it) I don’t have the foggiest what I’m doing! What japes.
Until this year, ‘trussed’ meant to bind the legs of a bird ahead of cooking, or to support or to strengthen
Anyhoo, my highlight of 2022 was when it brought us an additional meaning to a verb in the Great British dictionary.
Until this year, “trussed” meant to bind the legs of a bird ahead of cooking, or to support or to strengthen. Now, of course, it means to make a total hash of something because of your total and terrifying incompetence. Cf: “Oh, God, I think we’ve totally Trussed up the economy!”
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