The next time you feel yourself turning green-eyed, do your best Jamie Lee Curtis impression and cheer them on instead, writes Alex Watson.
Remember when more than 120 adults said they thought they could win a point against Serena Williams on the tennis court?
Another 200-odd more said they didn’t know if they could beat her – which means they couldn’t say for sure that it was impossible. Which means at least some of them read the question and thought: “Yeah, actually, you know what? If I had enough sleep and did some lunges beforehand, maybe I could win against Serena Williams.”
Serena Williams, the former number one tennis player in the world? Who won the second-most Grand Slam singles titles of all time? Who serves a tennis ball at an average speed of 106 miles per hour? Aye, OK then.
The results of that survey came out in July 2019, and I still think about it. Is the judgment of certain grown-ups (who may well vote and even drive a car unsupervised) really so lacking?
But we’ve all been there, haven’t we? At some point, every one of us has looked at a famous athlete or a musician or a comedian performing, shrugged nonchalantly and said: “I could do that.”
Often we’re tricked into believing we could, simply because people who are talented, well-trained, disciplined and in possession of star quality are so good at what they do, they make it look easy.
Though we still have a long way to go, the mainstream, highly visible worlds of culture, entertainment and sport are more diverse than ever. Members of marginalised communities are now more likely to see themselves represented in films, TV shows and books, as well as on stages and podiums, which is wonderful.
Less wonderful is the way we’ve internalised ideas about who is “allowed” to be successful. Routinely, women are belittled in the sport and music industries, younger and older people are dismissed as inexperienced or over the hill, people of colour are discriminated against across the board. We go easy on white men from affluent backgrounds who, society has taught us, deserve to be celebrated.
I realised I needed more Self Esteem
Last summer, I saw the artist Self Esteem (real name Rebecca Lucy Taylor) perform at a music festival and found myself on the verge of tears. For me, and many other people, her songs capture exactly what it’s like to deal with entrenched misogyny daily, and to struggle with your self-worth.
Taylor has deservedly shot to fame over the last few years. She’s an incredible talent and is entirely responsible for her own success. And, even though I’ve seen countless bands I love play live, that was the first time I’ve looked up at a stage in awe and related so strongly to the person performing.
I’m under no illusion about the hard work Taylor undertook to get where she is now. I don’t look at Self Esteem singing and cattily think: “I could do that.” But I do look at her and think: “I can do whatever I want.” Her success and her overriding message of self-belief are inspiring and motivating.
Recently, she spoke out about the volume of vile abuse she receives, often focused on her physical appearance. It’s clear to me that the main motivator behind messages like these is jealousy.
It’s the fastest, most efficient way to bring someone else down a peg or two when we feel envious or threatened – tell them they’re ugly or fat or short or puny. As if any of that isn’t completely subjective. As if any of it has any bearing on their contribution to the world.
Hatred stems from envy, whether we realise it or not
Whether they’re targeting stars on social media or bad-mouthing someone they know, I find it sad how many people stoop this low on a daily basis, in a vain attempt to feel slightly better about themselves. I find it even sadder that most of them probably don’t even realise the root of their hatred.
They’re so resentful of Serena Williams’ success, they’ve had to convince themselves that she doesn’t deserve it; that she might not actually be that good at tennis
Too many of us still see a woman (or trans person, or black person, or person with disabilities, or working-class person, and so many more) smashing through a glass ceiling and instinctively consider them to be lesser than others who sit around exactly the same table. As though they’re letting just anybody play Wimbledon and Glastonbury these days.
That’s why 320 people think they might have a chance against Serena Williams – because they’re so resentful of her success, they’ve had to convince themselves that she doesn’t deserve it; that she might not actually be that good at tennis.
Be more like Jamie Lee Curtis
Jealousy causes us all to think and do and say horrible things now and again. But if that’s your main driver in life – if your default state is one of bitterness and resentment – there’s something wrong.
At the same time as Rebecca Lucy Taylor was facing her most recent onslaught of online abuse about her body, the 2023 Golden Globes film and TV awards were taking place. When Michelle Yeoh was announced as the Best Actress winner, Jamie Lee Curtis threw her arms in the air and roared with joy, pride, vindication.
Watching anyone – celebrities, colleagues, friends, peers – do well or progress when you feel like you’re treading water can be painful, I’m not denying that for a moment. But, the next time I feel myself turning green-eyed, I’m going to do my best Jamie Lee Curtis impression and cheer them on instead. Because their inspiring step forward is a step forward for all of us.
Alex Watson is Head of Comment for The Press & Journal and wouldn’t take on a professional tennis player if you paid her
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