Sir Tom Jones defended the song Delilah after it was banned by the Welsh Rugby Union, saying: “It’s not political, it’s about a man just losing it.”
We may end up saying the same thing about Rishi Sunak if he has any more sleaze and chaos to contend with.
The Dominic Raab bullying probe was described as a “ticking time bomb” for the PM, who notched up 100 days in office as half a million workers staged the biggest mass strike in a decade.
On Sunday he sacked Nadhim Zahawi for breaking the ministerial code by not declaring his tax affairs were being investigated by HMRC.
Mr Zahawi blamed the press and congratulated himself on his achievements in the most graceless exit since Todd Carty skated into the scenery in Dancing on Ice.
The former chancellor had been a British success story, arriving in the UK from Iraq as a boy, speaking no English.
Sadly there is still one word that’s not in his vocabulary – “sorry”.
Centrica’s humble apology
By contrast, the boss of British Gas owner Centrica made a humble apology after it emerged debt collectors broke into vulnerable customers’ homes to fit prepayment meters. Taking full accountability, Chris O’Shea said: “There is nothing that can be said to excuse it.”
If there was any trace of humility in Mr Zahawi’s statement, it would take a search team like the one that located a pea-sized radioactive capsule in the Australian Outback to find it.
It had fallen off the back of a lorry (no really) prompting a search along a 870-mile stretch of road.
Metal detecting
A dad and son located a potentially dangerous device in Invergordon on their first attempt at metal detecting.
Having mistook an old bomb for a rusty bottle, Ryan Junor said: “The scary thing was I was holding it and carrying it about 650ft!”
Coffee too is a minefield, according to Which? It found caffeine levels in high street coffee varies wildly, with Pret’s single espresso having six times as much caffeine as a Starbucks.
If that doesn’t keep you awake at night, the state of the UK economy will. It was downgraded by the IMF and the Bank of England raised the base interest rate to 4% to combat inflation which is nearing its highest level for 40 years.
On the plus side, the Bank said it expected the UK recession to be shorter and less severe than it previously predicted, so yay!
It also made a miscalculation about the negative impact of Brexit; the deputy governor said it was damaging UK growth sooner than they thought it would.
Boris tells of Putin threat
Britain’s biggest taxpayer is a Moscow-born businessman who contributed £487 million to the Treasury in 2022.
Meanwhile Boris Johnson said Russian President Vladimir Putin had threatened to kill him during an “extraordinary” phonecall last February.
He claimed Putin had said: “I don’t want to hurt you, but with a missile, it would only take a minute.”
I bet Boris didn’t need any mousse that day to make his hair stand up.
The Kremlin has denied the remark, saying it was a misunderstanding.
Not wanting to be misunderstood by the Kremlin could be what’s behind the UK and US deciding against sending fighter jets to Ukraine.
Or it could be they don’t have the right helmets, as has happened with the UK’s F-35s.
The RAF said women cannot fly the Lightning jets because the helmets provided are too heavy.
In commercial aviation, the last Boeing 747 to be manufactured was delivered, with actor John Travolta there for the big send-off.
He was wearing his pilot’s cap, not his disco pants for the occasion, which brings us to the advice about optimism from the chief executive of Aberdeen and Grampian Chamber of Commerce.
“It’s time to put on your positive pants,” Russell Borthwick urged anyone with an AB postcode.
He said that by embracing change and looking forward, the region will prosper.
Former Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier was remarkably positive about the possibility of the UK returning to the EU as a poll found 54% of voters now think it was wrong to leave.
His negative pants must have been in the wash that day.
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