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Iain Maciver: Can we get a software update for our malfunctioning robot PM?

The sad thing is that we are now so used to seeing political leaders behave in weird ways that it is easy for us to ignore it.

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak stands at the door of 10 Downing Street - the numbers stuck to the door spell out 'London Tech Week' in binary code (Image: Stefan Rousseau/PA)
Prime Minister Rishi Sunak stands at the door of 10 Downing Street - the numbers stuck to the door spell out 'London Tech Week' in binary code (Image: Stefan Rousseau/PA)

Is the prime minister OK? It is not a joke when the prime minister of a country starts to act in a way that is beyond strange.

The sad thing is that we are now so used to seeing political leaders behave in weird and reckless ways that it is easy for us to ignore it as a fad.

Being interviewed by Laura Kuenssberg, Rishi Sunak was asked about the economy. He kept telling us to hold our nerve. That is a nonsense answer. How is that going to help people who are struggling and who rely on foodbanks to feed their families? There was nothing about his plans to help people get through tough times. Just hold your nerve?

I really have no idea if Mr Sunak has health problems, but maybe he should have a wee check-up. I suggest it because he also seemed to deliberately irritate the nation when he gave the same answer to four separate questions about Russia. If he is not ill, you know what this means? We do not have a robot as PM – we have a badly malfunctioning robot as PM.

Sunak is, understandably, being compared to the unemotional Mr Spock in Star Trek. While both seem cold and robotic, there is an essential difference. Mr Spock utters things based on logic. Answering four questions with one irrelevant, pre-scripted response isn’t logical. Mr Spock, though, clearly had his listening pointy ears on when he said: “It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.”

We don’t want interviewees who won’t answer a question. Sunak was just as excruciating as when, in 1997, high-profile BBC interrogator Jeremy Paxman asked then Home Secretary Michael Howard if he had threatened to overrule the then director general of prisons and make him suspend a prison governor after a breakout of dangerous inmates. Howard mumbled something unrelated to the question. Again Paxman asked: “Did you threaten to overrule him?” No less than 12 times, Paxo asked the same question – and we are still waiting for Howard’s answer.

Now that he’s getting into the swing of less-than-enlightening interviews, Sunak is being asked questions about all kinds of topics outside politics. Recently asked about his thoughts on when a woman should stop having children, he again waffled on about whether it was about each person’s situation. We learned nothing from him.

What do I think? I agree with those people who say women shouldn’t have children after 35. Really, 35 kids are enough.

Starmer made a bad call on oil

Sunak’s opposite number is being asked how many oil rigs in the North Sea are enough. That is the question for Sir Keir Starmer who, if elected, plans to stop oil exploitation. Yet, it seems unclear if we can cope without it. Are we going to rely instead on imported oil, which any random Russian dictator can put out of reach with a wee invasion somewhere?

Maybe there is never a good time to stop oil, but anything like that in the foreseeable future is completely barmy – and dangerous.

Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer and Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar (left) during the launch of the Labour party’s mission on cheaper green power, setting out policies on clean energy, in Edinburgh (Image: Jane Barlow/PA Wire)

While most of the people in this country can see this, why are our leaders so dumb with their ideas? They are all so desperate to be seen to be doing something green, they haven’t got what it takes to implement sound plans. Starmer probably got the idea from the Scottish Greens. Green can mean ill-informed.

Sir Keir had an easy route to Westminster because of Tory mess-ups, and then alienated the fit-likes in the north east and elsewhere – with this cockeyed plan. One thing he has not considered: with great power comes great electricity bills.

A very comprehensive health check

Concerns about the health of our robotic prime minister remind me that my own annual health check is due soon. I’m not looking forward to it. With a bit of luck, it will be a different nurse to the one I had last year.

I had the usual questions about how many weekly drinks and cigars I consumed – something and nothing – and I had wires with suckers attached to my chest to see if the old ticker was working. Yep, tickety-boo.

Then the nurse surprised me when I heard her say: “Now I need to check your peepee.” Gulp. Really? These checks are becoming very comprehensive.

As the nurse had her back turned while she tested my sample, I slid down my trousers and Y-fronts and stood there looking very sheepish. She then turned and shouted: “Oh, my goodness, Mr Maciver. What are you doing?”

I stuttered that she was the one who wanted to check my peepee. She said: “Oh, dear me, no. I said I needed to check your blood pressure – your BP.”


Iain Maciver is a former broadcaster and news reporter from the Outer Hebrides