The latest topical insights from Aberdeen musical sketch comedy team, The Flying Pigs, written by Andrew Brebner and Simon Fogiel.
Cava Kenny Cordiner, the football pundit who can’t see the trees for the woods
Even at the best of times, being a Dons fan can be a difficult crossbar to bear. But the last seven days has seen us going from cloud 99 to the lowest of the lowest of the low.
Even Old Kenny, the eternal optometrist, feared the worst when Degsy McInnes and his Killie outfit rocked up at Pittodrie on Saturday lunchtime. But, all of a sudden, the Vimto and vinegar that Neil Warlock had promised was there for all to see.
Tackles was flown into, chances was created, 110 percents was left on pitches, and no stops wasn’t left unpulled out. The Dandies was great value for their 3-1 win and their place in the semi-finals. Things was looking up for the Red Army.
Then, the circus came to town. Straight after the whistler had whistled his final whistle, Warlock announced to the medium that he was slinging his managerial hook. He says to the lads, he says that the AFC board was well on their way to recruiting the new gaffer, and that it was time for him to move on to postures new.
Now, Old Kenny is a man who likes to call a spade a shovel, so let’s be honest here. Warlock’s statement was what we in the business would call a load of old Horlicks.
It’s as plain as the face on my nose that SuperDave Cormack is about as close to finding our new suprendo as he is to splitting the atom.
There’s been some rumours about who we is lining up, but after we got turned over by Dundee, leaving us only three points ahead of the playoff zone, I hope the new man in charge has the thing that will matter most: a good track record of getting teams promoted from the Championship!
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