Some Londoners travel all the way to the Western Isles to sit their driving tests.
It seemed like nonsense when I heard it first. It’s true, though. It’s difficult to say exactly why, but Benbecula, in particular, is one of the places in the UK where it is said to be easier to pass the test.
An insurance company called OneSure claimed to do the research and found that seven out of the 10 easiest places to sit the test are in Scotland. Benbecula is the eighth easiest.
Galashiels and Inverness were in fourth place. Who wants to go to either of them? Let’s face it, neither location is what you would call particularly picturesque.
No golden sands. Driving in Inverness is dodgy at the best of times. They’ve played with one-way systems and pedestrian-only areas in Inversneggie and every time I go there I am stuck at lights for goodness knows how long.
Aberdeen and Perth also figure in fifth and sixth places. I drove through the Granite City a couple of months ago. It is little better.
Perth remains a nightmare with over-eager traffic wardens as well as infuriatingly bunged-up streets. Why wouldn’t you come to the glorious Hebrides?
White sands and glistening seas
You can drive from Balivanich up south, as the locals on Uist say, to Daliburgh and Lochboisdale driving alongside white sands and glistening seas. Even when it’s bucketing, it’s more exhilarating better than dull Inverness or grey Aberdeen.
In the past, we teuchters had the mickey taken about our silliness and confusion when we went to the big city. A regular one was when we supposedly saw our first double-decker bus. “Look, mammy. A hoose on wheels.”
It used to be that Inverness and Aberdeen were the closest places we could see double-decker buses. Now we’ve a growing fleet right here on Lewis.
No, it isn’t two amorous omnibuses getting friendly. We are no longer confused. Because of the spike in cruise ships coming here, we now have a new deepwater terminal. Bigger buses are needed to take excitable passengers from around the globe on tours.
Two big shiny buses on two levels are already in service for operator Lochs Motor Transport. Another double-decker is already on order.
I’m told they are very comfortable, not hard leather seats like old red London buses, and they have huge windows, giving passengers a panoramic view of all the narrow roads with potholes they are bound to drive into on the way to the Gearranan Blackhouses.
Should we get a view of police work with a regular cop TV series? We’ve had Z Cars, Softly Softly, Juliet Bravo and The Bill. They helped make cops seem human. Sorry, officer, just saying.
We’re interested in crime but more interested in getting smelly crims nabbed. It’s satisfying, even if it is make-believe. The Bill was credited by many for helping bridge a gap. It gave people a dramatised glimpse of how tough policing by consent can be.
With even Stornoway suffering from cases of pretty bad anti-social behaviour these days, and mounting concern about how little the cops are doing about it, this could be a good time for the return of the regular cop drama.
It has to be on at least weekly to get people in the habit of tuning in. Television drama has often been a valuable tool for breaking down barriers in communities and bringing about more enlightened reactions to events. A Scottish one would be even better, but more Taggart than Scot Squad. Sorry, I can’t get on board with that central Scotland drivel.
Double-decker buses causing confusion
Meanwhile, I shall try to get on board with the new series on BBC Alba about our local port authority in Stornoway. It was on last night but it will be the weekend before I can catch up.
I’m on board with our new double-decker buses but will some be confused? I hear they are also going to be used for school runs and regular services on occasion. Hmm, I feel it’s going to take a little time for some islanders to get used to them.
A man and his wife from Harris managed to onto one of the double-deckers with the cruise passengers the other day. However, that bus was so crowded, he had to go on the top deck while his wife was downstairs. Then, the driver got a call from his wife and they were in no hurry, talking away for ages.
The Hearach sitting up on the top deck then got a call from his impatient missus down below. She said: “Our driver is still yabbing away on the phone. Have you guys left yet?” Without thinking, her husband upstairs replied: “No, a’ ghraidh. Our driver hasn’t even turned up yet.”
Iain Maciver is a former broadcaster and news reporter from the Outer Hebrides
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