In a marriage as long as a lifetime, couples can expect many challenges.
That’s certainly true for Bill and Dorothy Murdoch of Ballindalloch, who celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary last month [November].
The couple have come stronger than ever through all the stresses of army life, a visitation from cancer, and twenty years ago on their 40th anniversary, the hell of being caught up in the Indian Ocean tsunami.
But Bill (80) and Dorothy (78) look back with gratitude at their six decade long partnership.
As Dorothy says: “We’re grateful to have come through it all, and we remind each other of that, how great it is that we can still go and do things.”
The pair met in 1961 at the Dinnet dances.
Bill said: “Dorothy used to live in Dinnet, and went to school in Aboyne. I lived in Tarland.
“The Dinnet dances were a mecca on Saturday night, and the hall was always packed wall-to-wall.
“I asked Dorothy for a dance.”
He adds cheekily: “I didn’t have to plead!”
Dorothy’s too reserved to be drawn on the impact of her handsome suitor, but things blossomed from there.
Bill said: “We met nearly every Saturday night. I was working on a farm then and had a Vespa scooter, so I would go across to Dinnet.
“When I was 17 I got my first car and we used to meet and go to other dances as well.”
It must have been a shock to Dorothy when the following year Bill announced he was going to join the Gordon Highlanders.
In those days, this meant they didn’t get to speak to each other for a year.
Airmail letters were the only way to communicate
Communication was by blue crinkly airmail letters.
With no experience of army life, this might have ended up a deal-breaker for the young couple, still in their teenage years.
Not at all.
Bill went to Kenya, Zanzibar and Swaziland between 1962-64.
When he returned to barracks in Edinburgh, he would high-tail it to see Dorothy in Aberdeen.
He said: “I used to travel up at weekends with a car load of Aberdonians. I used to charge them ten bob for their return fare, and I’d meet up with Dorothy.”
Engaged in 1964
The couple got engaged in 1964 and were married on November 7 of that year.
But the blue airmail letters had to continue for a while as Bill was posted in Borneo for a year.
Army life had started in earnest for Bill and Dorothy, and as Bill remembers, they moved house 16 times.
“We’re very good at packing,” he said.
Dorothy said: “There were a lot of times we weren’t together and Bill was away for a few months at a time, but we survived it.”
Bill had postings in Perth, Aberdeen, Germany, Folkestone, Inverness at Fort George, Northern Ireland, and two years in Singapore.
Dorothy said: “We loved the far east.”
It was this love that would take the couple back to the Far East in 2004 and their close encounter with death in the tsunami.
But that was still years away.
Dorothy went on: “We were very lucky because in the later years in the Army, Bill was posted to army management services London, so we bought a house in Surrey and made our lives down there.
“Our two sons, Stuart and Stephen were teenagers by then and they needed a home to come to, jobs to find and colleges to go to.”
Bill came out of the Army in 1984 and worked for the BBC in TV Centre for 11 years.
He then became operations director and co-owner of the IT training company QA with 23 training centres from Aberdeen to Exeter.
Being settled gave Dorothy a chance to build her own business as an image consultant.
She had trained as a hairdresser in Aboyne, and had kept up her skills during Army life, including managing the first Ladies’ Health Club in Surrey in the 1980s.
She said: “I trained as an image consultant, and myself and a colleague set up a training school, forming a training company.
“I had a ladies’ boutique with consulting and training rooms above.”
The image consultancy business had nothing to do with the colour of your lipstick, Dorothy emphasises.
“A big part of my job was making people ready for interview, it’s all based on first impressions,” she said.
“I worked in Slovenia twice with the government and officials that were preparing themselves for entry into the EU, and how to dress appropriately, how to understand body language.
“They had a totally different idea of dressing.
Advising clients travelling overseas
“We were hired by companies, like KPMG, who were then going to be travelling to Japan and how their dress sense is different.
“We also got a huge amount of work from Dress Down Friday when it came in because in London, people were dressed in three piece suit and tie for work and then they’d a pair of scruffy jeans for a weekend or jogger bottoms, and so that is not appropriate if you’re still meeting with clients.”
Dorothy was way ahead of her time when it comes to the now famous ‘capsule wardrobe’ concept.
She said: “I worked with a woman who was starting a business etiquette company in Slovenia and wrote part of her book.
“As a demonstration I foolishly showed her how I take 16 items of clothing and create 50 outfits and put it all into one small carry on suitcase.
“She thought this was the most fascinating thing, so I had to keep doing it in Slovenia, but it was good fun, a good life. I’ve sold my business and stepped back, but I still do charity talks.”
Fateful 40th anniversary celebrations
For their 40th anniversary in 2004 the Murdochs made the ill-fated decision to take a holiday in Langkawi, Malaysia.
Bill takes up the story which finds the family on the beach on Boxing Day, 2004.
“Our son Stuart and his then wife were with us, and Stuart said the water looks dirty, the sea was receding and there were little fish flapping about.
“We looked way out and you could see this huge wave coming in and we just stood and watched it, not knowing what a tsunami was.
“Eventually we saw it coming closer so we ran off the beach, but we weren’t quick enough.
“All the wooden sun loungers, they were crashing on top of us, that’s where our injuries came from.
“We both thought that was the end.”
Like being in a washing machine
Dorothy said: “It was like being tossed around in a washing machine, you were under a wall of water.
“Luckily, there was a mangrove swamp behind our beach, so it wasn’t like some who were hit into a wall which is how a lot of people lost their lives.
“We ended up with poisoned legs.”
Dorothy and Bill were separated, and Dorothy found herself clinging to a mangrove tree and holding on to a little German boy.
Horrifying moments
“It was very difficult, I couldn’t let go of the tree to get hold of anybody else.
“As the wave went down, Stuart saw me and came and got me.
“As far as we know nobody was killed on that beach.
“In fact the hotel was slightly up from the beach and people there were unaware there had even been a tsunami.
“But the beach huts were washed away and the palm trees lifted out.”
Eventually Bill and Dorothy managed to get to the hospital inland to have their injuries treated.
They were in hospital for 11 days being treated for septic wounds.
Bill said: “I watched them administering peroxide to Dorothy, pouring it into this hole in her leg, it came out another hole down below. It was horrible.”
Still unable to walk properly, the couple were sent back to the hotel to convalesce.
Tour operator helped them survive
Dorothy pays tribute to their tour operator, Kuoni, saying without them she is sure they would not have survived.
“They got the reps to bring us in food every day and they brought us in a kettle because we couldn’t drink the coffee, and they brought us in fruit.
“They phoned the hospital every day and made sure the phone was brought to us to ask how we were.”
The memories come flooding back.
Bill said: “The Malaysian government stopped all the TV programmes and put on cartoons for three days. They denied anything had happened.”
The couple retired to Ballindalloch some 14 years ago.
Dorothy said: “We’re really pleased to be back in Scotland, it’s a great place to be retired.
“We both play golf, we’ve got electric bikes, we walk and socialise, the days pass very quickly.”
The Murdoch’s son Stuart is a sculptor and lives not far away, often roping his dad in to be of practical help in his workshop.
Advice for a happy marriage
The couple have two pieces advice for a long and happy marriage.
Dorothy says: “Make time for each other. Although we sometimes went on holiday with other people, we always made time to be away by ourselves where there’s no other pressures like shopping and mundane jobs, that help reinstate things a bit.”
Bill’s advice when it comes to arguments is: “Always admit defeat!
He adds: “We have a shared sense of humour, enjoy the same sort of things and both of us are fairly tolerant, we just get on.”
Dorothy said: “You stick through it. We still remind each other that we love each other.
It does get tested, I’d cancer a few years ago, that’s always another test, but then it makes you appreciate life.
“I think a lot of people talk themselves into old age, we’re quite determined to do things as long as we can.”
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